The Perfect Bob

Waited patiently in an unsturdy emerald plastic chair
Only a matter of time before landing on the ice cold floor
Surprisingly colder than the two feet of snow outside
Piled up like dry ice that resembled urbanized kitty litter
Sped through every haircut book in the waiting area
Faster than The Flash could get from NYC to LA
Paired with a hair stylist that belonged in a metal band
A Poison cover band that would make Brett Michaels smile
Frightened by a pair of scissors that can cut through metal
Asked to trust a complete stranger with finding the best hairstyle
Chunks of hair dropping to the linoleum like a hailstorm
Forced to avoid the large 67 inch widescreen style mirror
To keep an element of surprise for the big reveal
Relieved to realize the final result was better than a 1920s flapper
And edgier than a female lead singer in a punk metal band
Pleased to show off the new cut to the world via a stage or on a date
Whichever is more exciting and worth the Twitter posting.