The Pinky Stinks One Last Time

Those of you who imagined you would get your biweekly break from humility, due to the lack of odd men out, are in for a somewhat impolite shock. In its stead, will be a final round of the game I brought to these pages earlier. That's right, Stinky-Pinky is back for one last visit. You may want to warm yourself up by trying your luck at the original one first, or, if not, then its even easier successor, The Pinky Stinks Again.

Fine, now that you're all warmed up (And don't worry, the page-views are on me. You're entirely welcome.), how about you take the final plunge into the universe of stinky-pinkdom?

1. The Toronto Blue Jays' relief pitchers would be the...

2. If Hervé Villechaize's character had a child with a Navaho woman on the TV show, Fantasy Island, the baby would be...

3. Mark Twain's favorite things to squeeze into his gins-and-tonic were...

4. A certain type of wind instrumentalist, who attended the same house of worship as Richard Gere, Tina Turner and Steve Jobs would be a...

5. A summer beverage, made from tea leaves and supplemented with habanero sauce, could be considered some...

6. When the notorious Happy Hooker cooked for herself, she was likely to drain her vegetables through...

7. A noisy row among contestants in a speed-drinking contest could be written off as just so much...

8. The road Shakespeare's wife took when she needed to distance herself from the Bard was the...

9. And finally...a silly word game that meant nothing in the greater scheme of things could be characterized as some...

Please keep in mind, especially if you did not do all the required reading, above, that, unlike those infamous Odd Man Out episodes, you do not need to read the quizmaster's mind. If you can come up with a different digital stench that meets all the criteria, then you owe yourself exactly one slap on the back. I doubt that you will, but, just in case, you may want to start limbering up your slapping hand.

Also, let me assure you on this, the last edition of the game, that-win lose or illustrate-you are certainly not a sap for wasting your valuable time on such a ridiculous subject. Whatever it may be that causes you to imagine yourself a sap, it's not the stinky-pinky.

I will give you another line or so to finish girding your loins, then, I'm afraid, it will be time to pay the piper, but don't tip the cigaretteer a dime.

*****

(Neat! He even threw in a space-break.)

1. The Toronto Blue Jays' relief pitchers would be the...

...hosers' closers.

2. If Hervé Villechaize's character had a child with a Navaho woman on the TV show, Fantasy Island, the baby would be...

...Tattoo's papoose.

3. Mark Twain's favorite things to squeeze into his gins-and-tonic were...

...Clemens' lemons.

4. A certain type of wind instrumentalist, who attended the same house of worship as Richard Gere, Tina Turner and Steve Jobs would be a...

...Buddhist flutist*

* Instant footnote: This was a very difficult question for your narrator to include. I much prefer to say "flautist," but am aware that "flutist" is an available alternative. In the end, I went with that because the number of celebrity Bauddhists is quite small, and their claims to celebrity, flimsy at best.

5. A summer beverage, made from tea leaves and supplemented with habanero sauce, could be considered some...

...feisty iced tea.

6. When the notorious Happy Hooker cooked for herself, she was likely to drain her vegetables through...

...Hollander's colander.

7. A noisy row among contestants in a speed-drinking contest could be written off as just so much...

...chug-a-lugger hugger-mugger.

8. The road Shakespeare's wife took when she needed to distance herself from the Bard was the...

...Hathaway path away.

9. And finally...a silly word game that meant nothing in the greater scheme of things could be characterized as some...

...rinky-dinky stinky pinky.

Hinky-dinky parlay voo!

Sources

Wikipedia

Own grasp of the irrelevant and unimportant