The Pirates of Pattaya

There is a port that is never to far away.
It's called Pattaya; it's where all wearied pirates stay.
Your id is your guide.
So don't be shy.
Two girls for every guy?
Heck, I'd say three with one on the side.
With beautiful beaches and even more beautiful girls
A pirate never grows old but more of a pirate he becomes.
There isn't a Santa Clause . . . but there is a Pattaya.
Where every bar is your home,
And every day is your friend.
Never a coat and never a fear is found here.
But beware of ladyboys, gold diggers, and skunky bear.
Beat your chest and let out an, "Arrg".
For there are still places where a man can be free.
Let Serotonin fill your days, and Midori your nights,
When you stay in Old Siam.
Be that wild man,
Because in Pattaya you can.