The Player's Guide to Aging

It's amazing how fast we age after thirty. Thinking back I see the times through my history that have been wonderful, interesting times that will be cherished as I pass through even more. Being a man in all the times of change, revolution, women's movement, equal rights, moral realignment, and sexual revolutions that defy the imagination, I am still awed and fascinated by this process called aging.

We grow older why? Who sets the limits and standards on what one can or should do at any given age? Why can't a man sixty still function at the level a twenty year old, if he has taken care of his body and mind? What determines how old is old and what is old?

Mentally, we all age at different levels and travel through unique stages of human development where at one point, what one individual feels is old is not what another might.

Studies have shone that mental ability and intelligence plays an important role is how we view ourselves chronologically in our minds. We never think we are as old as the clock says. We put off the transition of time as long as we can and only a quick look in the mirror reminds us that the years have indeed been moving along at a pace that astounds us each time we look at the image staring back.

Black men are good at hiding their age, as our skin does not age like others and we retain that youthful look far into middle age and then some. Most, not all tend to keep fit or in shape enough to give the appearance of youth and vigor even if everything on the inside is failing and falling apart. Ego is a powerful thing and as men, we do push ours to the limit sometime.

Women have an advantage in the age department. They can artificially trick us into thinking they are younger with changes in body and appearance. They can get stuff lifted here, something more added there, and if there's too much they can get that sucked out too. But we men are pretty much stuck with what we got and unless our vanity overrides our ego, not too many of us are going to go under some knife to look good. We're the assholes we are with the bodies that God gave us and what ever we did with them, messed up or not, is what we're going to live with. Nothing's going on that wasn't there in the first place, and nothing's coming off that wouldn't fall off by itself. It's a guy thing girls, if you're reading.

We don't want to change, but if we have to we will... on our own accord. But this is about change for the better for all men. The baby boomers that are reaching an age that don't understand what's happening with the world and what happened to the time and are, or may be having some problems dealing with it.

This is the guide to growing old cool and staying a hottie while you do.

Every guy wants to be Mr. Cool. I know you do. If you're any type of man, you want to have all the hot chicks drooling to be with you. Looking at you as the man they wish they had. That hot guy that all the girls want and all run after. Well, this ain't gonna get you all that, Either you got that or you haven't, but it will give you the knowledge of how to fake it well enough to pass for cool, even if you ain't.

First lesson: Don't buy that wig.

If you're over thirty, pushing forty and losing your hair. Forget the rug fellas. Unless you know Burt Reynolds' hair stylish (if you said who, stop reading and go have mommie fix you some hot chocolate cause you're way too young to be reading this), or can find someone that can make yours look as real as his, forget it. Women these days do not mind a bald head, as long as you ballin'. It's what's up there inside that head, not what's on it and how you do it, how long you do it and how you treat them. None of them, not the hair plugs, or other such mess will make you look younger in actuality... If you're going bald, let it go and be done with it. Create an ego trip around your baldness, shave it. Wear shaded glasses, and exude the confidence that was there when you had hair. Now let the glow of head shine through.

That's the first tip toward coolness. Simple common sense really. We all know wigs look silly and that's a fact. No matter what you think, they do... and people ALWAYS know. Just be cool with what you got. And if you got those little tuffs that you think pass for hair, cut it off. That's silly too. Being cool is not little tuffs of hair on a head with no other friends anywhere to play with. Grow up and be cool. Don't look silly.

See, first lesson wasn't so hard. But they get tougher as we go along, so pay attention.

Being a man has gotten tougher over the years. What was once thought manly is now an anathema to some women. The change in our views on masculinity have put such a strain on how men should be and act that it is little wonder why situations have become as they have.

We macho, chauvinistic relics have been delegated to the dinosaurs pit as some say we should be, but why then do women still seek that quality in us all the while shouting that we should be more like them and feel more, synthesize emotion more, when they actually need the animal that males posses.

Aging takes a lot out of you. Yeah, I know how that sounds, but it does. Thinking about it, worrying about it, seeing it in the mirror. It's a time consuming occupation for some and to me, the best thing you can do is to forget about it. It's going to pass... time that is, and worrying is not going to make it go any slower. So put your thoughts into making yourself over and being cool at any age, instead of worrying about what age you are.

Are you a jeans and sweatshirt old guy? What may have looked hot at thirty is definitely a no-no after forty. Unless you're in the gym a lot and are traveling back and forth to the spa, get some slacks or if they are jeans, make sure you have the latest and coolest fit with the latest hot shoes. Some of the new jump suits make you look like you're still part of the hip-hop crowd, if you're into that. I prefer expensive slacks and a nice shirt, little bling, and dark glasses. It makes the age irrelevant cause you look so cool, if you're groomed and got that confident look. Sure it's gonna get a little pricey, but what do you want... Cool or old?

The sweatshirt if you must, can be Dockers, but better would a long sleeve with the cuffs turned inward, and short sleeves wouldn't get a complaint here.

Grooming is essential to being cool. Hot women of any age are not going to warm up to a guy with dirty nails or greasy hair, unless she's that hot racing chick and I bet even she, after she's cleaned up would want any man that's with her to be just a clean. So manicure, get a facial and enjoy a nice sauna from time to time to soften your skin and make yourself smell nice is the best thing in the world for your ego and you feel so damn good afterwards. It's not just a girl thing anymore guys. A massage and manicure is heaven on earth. We need to pamper ourselves just like them. They expect it these days. And it's one of those things that you can do for yourself in private and if you got any obstinate macho deleted males friends who think it's sissy, well they'll never know. They'll just wonder why you suddenly got so many good-looking women on your arms. Probably why your face looks so radiant too.

Sexually, there's a lot to talk about. And unfortunately, as you get older you may be doing more talking than actually doing, but sex is still possible at any age and you can only get better quality wise, albeit quantity may drop a bit. Although with the medical wonders available in these modern times, miracles can be achieved for any performance level, so sexual satisfaction for your partner can continue to the grave.

So while the attire, the grooming, the smelling good may indeed increase your chances with the ladies, your personal mind-set about how you feel about aging is still the most important factor. Don't feel old and don't act old. Keep a youthful outlook on things.

Remember, the way that you view the world will be the same way others view you. If you walk around acting like an old person, others will treat you as an old person. If your outlook on life is a youthful one, then you will be perceived as younger than your chronological number. Now that doesn't mean act like a child. We're talking childlike here, not childish. Exercise, take care of your body and keep it fit so you can move and keep up with those younger that are still active and achieving.

Get involved in youthful activities. Assist a group that is helping young adults in your neighborhood. Do community work where your activism can be put to use and where you will find other youthful advocates who will appreciate your vigor and what appears to be your youthful enthusiasm.

Most of all don't believe all the stereotypical stuff about aging. You are as young as you feel, is not a fallacy, it is fact. If you continue to think young you will remain a viable and active human being capable of anything your body is able to do. You and your spouse can enjoy a youthful existence and those around you will never guess that you are as old as the number says. Enjoy yourself think young. Buy some new clothes; get rid of the bi-focals, and play. Remember you may have to grow older, but you don't have to grow old. Your attitude is what decides that, not chronology and if you feel old, you might as well get ready to be some rock in the old folk's home and although your grandchildren will still love you no matter how ancient they may perceive you, the young ladies won't.

Keep your imagination alive and play, be creative and get involved with life. Age is what happens and will pass without you worrying about it. Worry about living the best you can and being cool, cause in the long run, no body cares but you, and if you think young you will live longer and be cooler than those who cry about how old they are, and that is definitely not cool.