The Plus Side of Boobs

I've always considered myself "lucky" to have boobs. My mother is a small woman in all senses of the word. She is just under five feet tall and her chest is a 32. She's a size 4. I'm five and a half feet tall, my weight has gone up and down over the years and I am currently wearing a 38. I'm not big big...but big enough. In my younger days I was whistled at continually, once by a guy hanging outof his car as he drove past...and that was after I'd changed into jeans and a sweatshirt.

Men don't ever consider the accompanying possible health problems associated with large chests. The strain on your upper back, the sore shoulder and neck, the headaches, even the chest pain from having to run down the street after your young Houdini baby. Men think "WOW!" and get that big stupid grin on their faces.

HOWEVER...there is a bright side. :) I have learned to laugh at myself. During puberty I went from flat to "inflated" overnight. I couldn't walk through doorways without bouncing off the side of the door jamb. In the space of a week I remember being totally flat and putting rolled up socks in my bra then laughing hysterically and blushing thinking "That's TOO big!" Guess what? That's what I look like now.

The good news is:
I have built-in air bags in case of an accident.
I have a portable shelf where I can hold keys or drinks while I use my hands for other tasks.
I have a natural hiding spot where I can hang things around my neck and they disappear under vast amounts of boobage.
If I stand up straight and look down I cannot see my feet. I figure if I can't see my tummy either then I'm not fat!
While wearing a bra (I always do) I also have handy "pockets" where I can hold extra money, facial tissue, or cookies.
If I wear a sports bra and stand out by the street I am a handy beacon for emergency personnel seeking the site of an accident.

So what if when I go to the bank I have to plop "the girls" down on the counter to relax for a minute? So what that I cannot wear anything but a "full-ceverage" bra or I'm flashing the neighbors? So what that when I walk into the room people only remember my chest? It could be worse. They could be TALKING to me! :)