The Pointless Addiction!

If you have an e-mail account, odds are a made up 50% that you have taken or at least seen what I'm talking about. If you have a myspace account, odds jump up to a whopping 200% because somebody on your friends list shares the addiction. Your bulletin right now probably contains at least 5 of those darn things. There's so many kinds!

I started filling them out because I was trying to inspire creativity! Honest! The problem is there are so many kinds... it's like different types of liquor.

First, there's the check surveys. These are like tequila to me, I stay away. They hold no interest what so ever.

Here's an example of the 'check' kind.

How Redneck Are You?

Check anything that applies to you then add up your score:

() You have slept with your cousin
(x)You like beer
(x)You like to fish
(x)You own at least one tv that doesn't work
(x) Your working tv sits on top of one that doesn't work

(3)

() You have the head of a deer on your wall
() You have a fish on your wall
() You collect guns
(x)Your own more than one tackle box
(x)Boats are for fishing

(5)

Now multiply your score by 10 and repost with the title "I am ?% Redneck!"

It's easy to close these and pretend I never opened them, even if it threatens me years of bad luck or being run over by a clown. The check surveys don't even offer a chance at 'inspiring creativity'.

Then, there's the corny surveys. These would be the daquiri... or better yet the virgin drink of surveys. I have been tricked, a few times, but I'll realize halfway through that I am starting to feel like a 12 year old girl again and then I just close it out and pretend I hadn't started to fill out the answers. An example of a corny survey:

If you were stranded on a deserted island, what 3 things would you bring?
~*~ A flare gun, a CB radio, and some weed while I wait~*~

What is your favorite thing to do on a first date?
~*~rob a bank, steal a car, elope and wake up in Mexico~*~

What is the quickest way to a man/woman's heart?
~*~Straight through the rib cage~*~

Are you crushing on anybody right now?
~*~I can't answer that, my husband might read this~*~

Would you jump in front of a bullet for the guy/girl you love?
~*~I'd probably be on the other side of the gun~*~

Do you believe in soul mates?

It is usually somewhere around that last question I catch myself from making a mistake and attempting another 20-50 similar questions. Another tricky survey are the downright nosy surveys. This is not your casual, social beer. This is your sh*faced I wanna share all my personal business drink of surveys.

Who was your last phone call?

Who was your last im?

What was your last text message?

What are you wearing?

What was the last thing you ate?

I don't appreciate being grilled about these personal details, thank you very much!

Of course many surveys include questions that could fit into other categories. Some surveys also have what I hope are just filler questions, because they can be downright dumb! This is your Xima of surveys.

What is your favorite:

Color?
Day?
Month?
Number?
Restaurant?
Movie?
website?

Does anyone actually have a favorite day or month?

Some surveys actually do inspire creativity! The favorite question I ever answered was taken from such a survey.

Name 5 things you can do with a brick:
1.)Lay It!
2.)Cut out a hole, drop a match in and make a tiny fireplace
3.)Throw it through the window of your local liquor shop
4.)Drop it from the roof of a tall building and see what happens
5.)Give Mcgyver the brick, a rubber band, and a pineapple and see what kind of bong he can make

Okay, those questions are priceless. It's always entertaining to see what other people say... but nobody ever reads your answers or cares what you say to "Do you have a crush on anyone?"

The final kind of survey is a trap. It is a Blank Survey and you don't fill anything out. You simply repost it and let other people answer the questions about you. Find out who your true friends are by seeing if they even bother to fill it out (if they have as much free time as I do) and if they are able to 'take a stab at your middle name'.
However, it is a trap because it is rude to repost this without filling it out about the person who posted it before you. If any of your friends repost this and do not fill it out about you first, then cuss them out in a message. If they don't fill it out about you within the hour then they are not really a good friend.