The Power of Forgiveness

There are two kinds of forgiveness that we psychological benefit from. To forgive one's self and to forgive another. The power to forgive can release us and up lift us. It releases our minds and our souls. It lifts us to a greater conscience of understanding. At the root of all forgiveness is acceptance. Acceptance of a behavior and how it hurt another must be present in order for forgiveness to take place.

First, we must know how to forgive ourselves. We've made mistakes in the past. These can be minor or malicious life changing behaviors: alcohol, drugs, marital affairs, mistreatment of others or gossip. One of the first steps to forgiveness is acceptance of this behavior. Yes, we did something wrong. Yes, we want to repair the damage. But what we sometimes fail to realize, is we have to forgive ourself first. It is written "God so loved the world that he gave his only son." Yes, we are worth his forgiveness so why then can we not forgive ourselves. This act of forgiving ourself is harder than any other form of forgiveness. In part, because we now have to admit to our faults and we now have to take responsibility for our actions. This is not an easy task.

We have the hurtle of pride. Yes, pride. I know why it is listed as one of the seven deadly sins. We hide behind pride to rationalize our actions or to justify our inappropriate behavior. Feeling remorse is our first step to wanting to forgive ourself. There isn't any quick get of of guilt free prayer or confession that repairs this damage. And yes, we are repairing the damage that our actions have done to us. Self-healing can be slow, painful process. What we have to remember is that we are worth it.

The other form of forgiveness is to forgive another. This person hurt you. Hurt you deeply. Are we always going to be angry? I don't think that is anyway to live. Weather this person is your spouse, next door neighbor or arch enemy, accepting their actions, understanding how or why it hurt us and having the willingness to move on is necessary. Sometimes this is easier said than done. Relationships can't always be repaired. Here we need to accept that and move forward. We need to curb our anger. We will not always understand why this person does what they do. We cannot change the fact that this person did something to you, but don't let this person feed off your anger. Don't empower them. Forgiveness neutralizes this anger, enabling us to walk away from a situation with a clear conscience.

The road to life is bumpy. It is not an easy path. We have to deal with acceptance of ourselves and others on a very personal level. We have to make a decision on how we are going to live our lives. We need to over come our feelings of pride and anger and turn toward a more positive path. So the next time we hit a bump in the road, we need to look deep down inside ourselves, and remember that true forgiveness comes from the heart.