The Prejudice Against Extended Nursing
It doesn't even make since to call nursing past one year "extended". The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that a mother breastfeed her child for at least one year. Note the operative phrase "at least". Meanwhile, the World Health Organization recommends at least two years of breastfeeding! So why are women judged for nursing their toddlers? This notion that babies should be somehow trained to be independent and self-sufficient is a popular one in America. (ex: Cry It Out method)
While anyone with a modicum of education knows that breastfeeding is best for a baby, mothers are still treated like pariahs if it becomes known that they are still nursing their toddlers. These bigoted people are obviously ignorant to the fact that the bond between mother and nursling is incredibly strong and serious. Weaning can be psychologically devastating for both parties if it isn't done at the right time. Also, children lose out on immunities if they are weaned early.
It really isn't as strange as it sounds to the modern world: women have been doing this naturally since the dawn of the species. Perhaps it is something deeper than that. Why would people see this as a weird act if it has been scientifically proven to be advantageous to the child? No one is proposing that a woman breastfeeds until her children leave for college or anything. Maybe people are dealing with some subconscious psychosexual problems.
Let's look at it from this standpoint: we live in a society obsessed with sex. That is what it boils down to; everyone wants instant, carnal pleasure in this country. Why else would breastfeeding mothers be made to feel uneasy or ashamed to nurse in public? This is what breasts are made for, for God's sake. In spite of this fact, actual legislation had to be passed to protect mothers from being restricted in their breastfeeding. Laws actually had to be passed stating that a woman is free to breastfeed in any public place that she is allowed in. Why? Because people think of breasts as sexual, not functional.
Extended breastfeeding isn't for everyone. It takes a lot of commitment and flexibility on behalf of the mother. Plus, you will probably have to deal with unsolicited comments made by friends, family, and even strangers. That's a lot of adversity to contend with. Please don't let this prejudice prevent you from making the right decision for you. Maybe you want to wean at six months, maybe at 24 months, the choice is yours to make!
Published by Dinah Laurel
Dinah Laurel is a freelance writer who specializes in online content development. View profile
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5 Comments
Post a CommentMy LO is 22 months and we nurse twice a day. If people ask me I tell them we are. I don't try to hide it, but it does feel kind of funny to be nursing a child who asks for her milk quite clearly :) I want her to lead the weaning process. It won't be because I think it is what others want me to do.
In biblical times, children were weaned at about three years old, but that was just an average age. Some children wean themselves earlier; some later. While there are medical reasons not to nurse for a natural span of time, the current trend to opt out or not make the maximum effort (however painful, at times) often causes mothers to excuse themselves too easily, claiming inability. Many babies do wean early even when the mother wished to nurse longer. I believe, though, that many babies also sense the mother's discomfort or rejection-- often due to her own misconstrued ideas or shame about nursing). Such children wean earlier than they would have had they been allowed to relax and receive the soft, affirming experience so necessary and natural at this stage.
G-d BLESS you for finally publishing an article on this! I have been trying to educate people-- one by one-- for years about this issue. Hopefully folks will finally begin choosing education and logic over thoughtless ignorance and what they believe to be tradition (really just the latest trend-- people's memory is so short).
You are so right-- what do people think breasts were made for? Yes, they are pleasurable, but unless we have shamefully regressed into a society that can relate to nothing but women as objects for ogling, we cannot overlook the primary functions of species nurturing and propagating.
I grew up in Nigeria, where I observed many children nursing up to the age of six-- and not because of low income or lack of access to solid food. Children will by nature gravitate to a position of assurance and comfort, and nursing provides great psychological security in this wonderful bonding experience.
In biblical times, children were weaned at about three years old, but t
Thank you for your comments. It's funny how people are suddenly offended by breasts when they are being used in the most natural, non-sexual way. However, we are a nation that supports a multi-billion dollar pornography industry and that doesn't seem to bother mainstream America so much. Do you know what offends me? Seeing weekend Dads take their sons into Hooters to watch the game. A woman nursing her baby in the corner of a restaurant? Never even occurs to me that she is doing something odd!
Amen. Reminds me of the uproar a few months back for putting a breast and baby on the cover of Babytalk (or something closely named). One offended woman wrote in saying that breasts were "sexual" and she didnt want her husband and son seeing them. Its terrible the opinions we hold onto in America. Once I got my milk in, I realized that was what breasts were all about. Its just such a shame that people cant understand that. As with "long-term" nursing, I get so much enjoyment from nursing my daughter I dont even want to think about quitting. At the end of the day, its really nobody's business.