The Prequels Are Better, so There

Old-school Star Wars fen are a traditional bunch. Far from beliefs of stereotypical jocks and cheerleaders in any average teen movie, nerd culture is both alive and thriving in a sea of free WoW trials and Area 51 pocket protectors. And far beyond being pantsed in gym class for having Threepio underwear, the biggest slight one can offer a geek is disrespecting their elitism - for there is, in fact, a nerd hierarchy, and Star Wars fans are hardly the exception. In point of fact, they are the rule.

In general, the main space battle is over what is colloquially referred to as "G-level" (George Lucas, natch) canon: That is, the six movies, Episode IV - VI of the Original Trilogy (OT), and I - III, the Prequel Trilogy (PT). The new Clone Wars TV series and its accompanying movie are not quite G-level because George isn't intimately involved with them; nor the Tartakovsky cartoon shorts, or any Expanded Universe (EU) fare, including comics. Let's not discuss those awful animated Ewok features from the 1980s (though the '78 Christmas special gets a nod, if only because of the late, great Bea Arthur, and the fact that the entire cast appeared to be on qualudes just to get through the experience).

OT nerds are the worst, in terms of elitism. In essence, the three original Star Wars movies are considered the cream of the crop, and anybody who says otherwise is a scruffy nerfherder. While the author of this article certainly enjoys the OT, they are not, in point of fact, the reason that she spends so much time nerding around in Star Wars fandom, seeking monetary avenues to attend conventions, scoffing at Star Trek fans, buying expensive hunks of plastic that look like her favorite characters, ad nauseum. That honor goes, indisputably, to the Prequels, with an honorary mention of the new Clone Wars franchise.

Originally seeing the Originals in junior high, the author found them interesting, but did not particularly understand the appeal that had a fellow violinist playing the Star Wars theme constantly. She did not care about the Prequels in and of themselves, either, and only reluctantly accepted a ticket stub when the company she worked for in the summer of 2005 rented out a local theatre to see "Revenge of the Sith". A fellow cubicle monkey snuck off to go shopping; the author stayed behind and decided to tough it out.

What followed was movie magic: Episode III was a fantastic movie, full of heart, wisdom, space battles, sabotage, secret love, friendship, gay subtext (for those into that sort of thing), and Darth Vader. Like a junkie waiting for his/her next fix, the author hurried to the local bookstore to buy up Episode I and II, wanting - needing, even - to see what she was missing. Episode I is kitschier than one might expect for a film about a dude who eventually chokes people and cuts off his son's hand, but there is something to be said for the subtle political intrigue of the Naboo subplot, and the mystique of the Jedi Temple, as emphasized by the introduction of the character, Qui-Gon Jinn. Also, many fans have softened over the past decade or so to all things Gungan; it's pretty cliche to hate on Jar-Jar Binks anymore.

The second film was similarly entertaining - more politics that the Original Trilogy barely hinted at (that is, viewers know the Emperor is in charge, but don't really appreciate how fully-formed and complex the plans that put him in that position were), and a burgeoning romance between Anakin Skywalker and Padme Amidala (which is, admittedly, the weakest/least fully-formed aspect of the entire Saga - she's important enough to kill and betray the Jedi for, but there's not even a single nod to her in the OT, minus Leia's weird little 'recollection' in "Return of the Jedi"? C'mon). Sure, nothing's perfect, but the author would rather watch Anakin's juvenile fumbling for Padme's boobies than the Episode VI Ewok subplot (a good half of an otherwise fantastic conclusion to the saga) any day, without question. And while OT purists admit that Episode III is worthy of little Ani yelling, "Yippee!", they still amass the PT as a travesty, and then continue to whine that George's tooling with the OT to make for better DVD release quality (that is, wherein he edits out the strings that held up all the toy spaceships over his bathtub in 1977) is "killing their childhoods".

This author posits that fan elitism goes overboard, often missing the forest for the trees. Legitimately complaining that, say, "X-Men III" tries to sandwich two or three big comic book plots into 90 minutes makes for a choppy movie is one thing; moaning that Kirsten Dunst or Emma Watson aren't someone's "exact mental image" of Mary Jane ("Spider-Man") or Hermione Granger ("Harry Potter"), on the other hand, is silly. Yes, fans are why comic books get made into big-screen movies in the first place; still, there is only so much pleasing that the directors can do, particularly for a bunch that assumes on principle that anything they didn't mastermind in their race car beds when they were seven will "suck". Never mind that most comic book-cum-movie directors are giant nerds themselves.

The author also prepares to lose all credibility and respect with this next statement: The Prequels are better than the Originals. Gasp! But seriously, it's true: The Original Trilogy is a fun romp through a half-constructed universe (Wookiees living in harmony with Ewoks? Again, puh-leaze), with characters who hint at being well-formed, but in and of themselves are actually a little dull. Leia's a rebel because she is trained for it, assumably by Bail Organa; Luke would rather do pretty much anything than spend another season farming water on Tatooine; Han and Chewy are man-friends. The relationships between Anakin, Obi-Wan, Palpatine, Windu, Yoda, Padme, etc., etc. are much more subtle and complex: Obi-Wan outwardly despises Senators, but is the Jedi Order's token negotiator for all things Republic; Anakin is both indebted to the Jedi Order, but feels bound by it and largely misunderstood due to his Chosen One status; Padme is Queen, then Senator, then secret wife and mother, and in-between she still finds time to get a whole lot of legislation passed and possibly does her own hair.

The Prequels are outright fascinating; EU material for the PT vs. the OT is ridiculously unbalanced, but there's an implied reason that most of the OT-based stuff comes decades and centuries after Episode VI ends: Because the only way people care about Luke, Leia and Han is if they can infuse them with love interests, children, and a passion for rounding up new Jedi - none of which is really discussed at any great length (sometimes not even at all) in the original movies themselves. It is the exact opposite with the Prequels, whose books focus a lot on Anakin's "one foot on the Dark Side" attitude, and all of the subtleties that go with it.

Beyond characterization, there is no contest that the technology for the Prequels far outweighs that used in the OTs, remastered editions or otherwise. John Williams' wonderful music is much the same - no need to fix what's not broken - but everything else is notably superior. Yet for all of Lucas' efforts to bring fans more of what they supposedly love, what OT purists really want is to rewatch their grainy copy of "Empire" while their mom patches holes in their too-small 'droid tightie-whities. By missing the forest for the trees, they snub their noses at things made precisely with them in mind. The irony is hopefully not missed - though one wonders whether those most in need of this certain point of view will put aside their own nerd hang-ups long enough to let it sink in. The author won't be holding her breath.

Cue ending credits!