The Presidential Campaign of 2008: What a Long Strange Trip It's Been

If a movie was made of campaign 2008, the first title that comes to mind is Neverending Story. It seems as if the candidates began declaring their intentions or forming exploratory committees and all the things Presidential candidates do before the echoes of John Kerry's concession speech from 2004 died down. In an earlier article , I discussed the plethora of candidates and all the possibilities.

With George W. Bush having ridden into office again based on stamping out gay marriage, how did Dubya spend all that political capital he boasted of in January 2005? The attempted privatization of social security, that's how. With both that and the gay marriage amendment hoax, which Bush likely never intended to pursue dead in the water, here's a recap of all the bizarre happenings of this campaign.

The theme song of "cam-pain" 2008 has to be Truckin' by The Grateful Dead. Jerry Garcia, the front man of the Grateful Dead could be grateful for not having to endure the longest Presidential campaign in history. The late Garcia penned the words "Sometimes the lights are shinin' on me, other times I can barely see, lately it occurs to me, what a long strange trip it's been".

Early on, that cut-up Joe Biden referred to Barack Obama as a "fresh and clean" candidate. Glad you cleared that up, Senator. After all, Barack Obama's initials are "B.O." The swift boaters and Karl Rove are surely laying in wait for the right time to bring that up.

Then, there was a flap about Hillary Clinton's cleavage. I suppose the implication was that she was trying to attract the votes of the Bubbas and Nascar dads. . Bill Clinton said it was all much ado about nothing.

There was the joint appearance of the GOP candidates in which they were asked for a show of hands as to who did not believe in evolution. Former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee and two others raised their hands. Given Huck's propensity to shoot from the lip (more on that later), it's a wonder the now Fox pundit didn't say looking at one of the other GOP candidates was almost enough to persuade him.

John McCain and the others often piled on the early favorite, Mitt Romney. Romney responded by pointing out that, even as a Mormon, he, Romney, was one of the few GOP candidates who had had only one wife. In a futile attempt to woo the aforementioned , all important Bubba vote, Mitt, who must have gotten that name because he was so slick glove oil wouldn't stick to him, Romney said he often hunted "varmints" and was quite the gun enthusiast. Then it was revealed that Mr. Romney had never owned a hunting license in any of the states in which he has resided. Maybe Mitt Romney should borrow fellow Bay Stater John Kerry's hunting gear and contact Dick Cheney next time.

In South Carolina, the Democrats turned nasty with a picture of Barack Obama in African garb surfacing, charges and countercharges flying and talk of "fairy tales". No, not Sen. Larry Craig's arrest in a Twin City mens room, the area in which this year's GOP convention takes place. No word on whether the Idaho Senator takes a "wide stance" on the "don't ask, don't tell" policy.

Bill Clinton incurred the wrath of the Obama camp by dissing Obama's campaign as a "fairy tale" and comparing it to Jesse Jackson's 20 years before. Samantha Power, an Obama consultant resigned after calling Hillary Clinton a "monster". Power then issued a weasel-worded statement in which Ms. Power proclaimed how much she regarded Hillary as a political role model.

Then, Barack Obama's longtime pastor, the Wrong Rev. Wright entered the picture. Jeremiah Wright's sermons turned up on You Tube, with the firebrand preacher ranting about the U.S. government spreading the AIDS virus, dealing drugs in the black community and other assorted atrocities. When Wright emerged from his million dollar mansion in a mostly white, gated community, he descended on Washington where he told a reporter in response to a query on how often Sen. Obama attended his church: "about as often as you do". Maybe Obama was being truthful when he said he must not have been there that Sunday when Wright insulted some group or another. When's the last time you heard a politician denying going to church often?

Around that time Barack Obama drew much criticism for his remarks about his "typical white person" Grandma and "bitter white people clinging to guns and religion". Of course, those comments pale in comparison to those of Obama's now former pastor. Just a side note, I didn't have to pry my hands off a firearm to type this and actually have relatives who don't "pack heat". When Jeremiah Wright went to DC to explain his earlier inflammatory remarks and dismissed his own bad press as "an attack on the black church", Mr. Obama formally cut ties to the Chicago area pastor, only to have another make "cutting" remarks about him. More on that later.

About the time the Wrong Rev. Wright was thankfully "fading into Bolivian" as Mike Tyson once said of himself, after Obama resigned from the church, a reporter on the "fairly unbalanced" Fox News channel, or "rarely balanced", whichever you prefer, referred to Barack and Michelle Obama's "terrorist" fist bump on the air. Don't look now, but most of professional sports is populated by what Dubya so eloquently refers to as "terr-ists" if that's what the fist bump is., I believe it was the same reporter who made a snide remark about Michelle Obama being the Senator's "Baby Mama". To prove their "fair and balanced" mantra, maybe Fox News smeared the Obamas from the left and right sides of the studio?

Just when it seemed Mike Huckabee might be the favorite to land the nomination for what FDR's VP John Nance Garner referred to as "a pitcher full of warm spit", the Huckster, took himself right out of the running with an asinine remark to an NRA convention. Huckabee, who seldom passes up a chance to suck up to the gun-nuts, after hearing a loud noise in the background, quipped something about someone taking a shot at Barack Obama. When John McCain convened several VP prospects at his Arizona home shortly after, Huckabee was conspicuous by his absence. Hmmm.

So many gaffes, so little time. I'm sure a few have been overlooked, but that leaves just one major flap. The matter of Jesse Jackson's "cutting" remarks about Barack Obama with a Fox News mike still on. Jackson told another guest he'd like to "cut his (Obama) nuts off" for "talking down to black people". Since Mr. Obama's voice in calling for "CHANGE" remains the same, we'll assume Jackson did not follow through in his desire.

Just think voters, there are still 100 days until the election. Time for many more bloops, bleeps and blunders. And lots of MUD. Even as we speak, Arizona Senator John McCain's campaign is turning increasingly nasty. Time will tell if Barack Obama gets down in the mud with McCain, but to his credit, so far Obama has not complied. Stay tuned, if Mr. Obama's lead in the polls starts to vanish...who knows? All I know is if there are half as many gaffes in the last 100 days as there have been to this point, there will be plenty to talk about.