The Presinator: The Case for Arnold for President

He hunted the Predator, rescued John Connor, fought Batman (though most of us would like to forget that one), and took office as California's current governor. Many of us wonder, where's Arnold going next? Well, many of us believe the next logical step is the Presidency. Though, Arnold Schwarzeneggar has denied any intention on running for that office, he couldn't have it even if he wanted. A document called the Constitution stands in his way.

That pesky piece of paper!

Article Two of the Constitution outlines the requirements for America's President. Among other things, a President must be a natural born citizen of these United States. Arnold is a citizen, certainly, but he was not born here. That disqualifies him.

Or does it?

Let's take a closer look at this phrase "natural born citizen." The Constitution doesn't explicitly defines what this means. Does it mean "someone who was born here," or "someone who was naturally born AND a citizen here"? Is it a qualification on where the person was born, on where the person has citizenship? A lot of are born here, then live abroad. It's a serious question.

Well, Arnold is qualified if you look at this way. "Natural born" isn't just "born." Natural birth occurs when a child exits the mother's body without surgery (vaginal birth). Guess what, folks? That excludes any candidate born by Caesarean. Too bad for me, then. I'm sure we've had a few of them in office. So why are we giving Arnold such a hard time when we've already broken the law?

Remember the promise the witches gave to Macbeth? "No man that's born of woman Shall e'er have power upon thee." But Macbeth was indeed killed, by a man, who WAS born. The key: Caesarean section answers the "born of woman" clause.

Well, we know Arnold was born. He didn't hatch from an egg or shoot out of a cow. But we're hung up over where he was born. We should be wondering HOW he was born, and we should take a good long look at the Presidents we've had. If we've already had a President born by Caesarean, we owe the Governator a big apology.

Let Arnold run for President. Heck, let him run against Hillary. Man, I'd love to see that! "I can't answer my opponent, because he is a girly-man!" Imagine the campaign. Imagine the Presidency.

Ah-nold for President!