The Prisoner's Survival Guide (as Told by Kevin Donovan)

Prison is a scary thought to some, and it should be. For those facing time behind bars, this is a must-read because of the harsh reality where every day is a battle for survival. For those not facing time, read on and learn what really goes on in today's correctional facilities. It must be understood that behind the prison wall another world exists, a city with its own laws, its own morals, and its own code of ethics. Inside, it is sometimes necessary to live to every letter of the "law". Prisons are overcrowded and usually understaffed, so one thing to remember is: "Never take it personal". Inmates are considered to be a number - few personal relationships are formed. For example, when waiting for a piece of mail that has been mailed locally more than a week ago and "gets lost" in the mail room, no one is really "out to get" the inmate; the mail was nine out of ten times, simply lost. Taking a small incident personally can put one on the bad side of the officers - then, it does become personal.

Unfortunately, the prison population in the United States is steadily increasing which is the cause for overcrowded conditions, hot tempers and a smaller guard-to-inmate ratio. Life in jail is dangerous and there are a few things one should know before engaging in the game. The officers are not there to be friends or counselors to the prisoners. It's a job; and their job is to make sure that each inmate receives care and custody. The task of an officer is to lock and unlock the cell and to account for every number on the roster - nothing more. The purpose of this guide is to give those who face possible jail time the basic tools needed to survive, whether the time served is one month while awaiting trial, or a ten year sentence.

Rule #1
Before entering: follow the rules. Pay strict attention: absorb and adhere to the unspoken rules behind bars as it will mean the difference between surviving the ordeal, and becoming a victim of it. Once a person becomes a part of the penal system, he or she is stripped of individuality.

Rule #2
Day one. Prison is a very loud environment. When entering the housing unit or "block" be sure to keep the eyes straight ahead. Don't be nosey; mind your own business. Never look into other inmates' living quarters (or cell). Inmates perceive this look as a hostile action or an invasion of their privacy. Remember, this is the inmate's place to reflect and most of all, to get away from the noise.

Rule #3
Don't stare. There are some strange people doing strange things in prison. If there is any time in one's life to be selfish - this is the time. Be concerned only with what concerns you directly.

Rule #4
Don't "eye-ball" the female staff. This is a quick way to end up in the hole (or solitary confinement.)

Rule #5
Don't place bets. On the outside, sporting events, card games and competition can be fun. Inside, it can be life or death. The tension in prison is extremely high and not everyone can handle losing; some people would rather fight than pay. Avoid gambling completely.

Rule #6
Stay away from drugs. Yes, there are drugs in jail. It is possible to make "home brews" from different ingredients, but no matter how tempting it is - don't partake. This activity can kill you, get you killed, or if discovered, put one on the officer's bad side. None of these places is a place where any inmate wants to be.

Rule #7
Don't get prison tattoos. Hepatitis C, HIV and AIDS run rampant in the prison system. While it's true that there are great artists in jail, it's not worth the risk to one's health.

Rule #8
Don't be open to cheap shots such as walking around the block in shower shoes. Assailants see this as an opportune moment to assault a person due to the fact that the shower shoes are notorious for being slippery on the tiled floor, resulting in a person losing his footing and becoming a victim.

Rule #9
Approach officers in tandem. The reason for this is that other inmates will point the finger to a single person approaching an officer saying that the person is giving information in exchange for special treatment.

Rule #10
For the love of God, never, ever squeal, inform, rat, tell, or give information of any kind about what goes on inside the prison walls. This will get a person killed. This kind of a reputation follows an inmate wherever he or she goes and they can never again consider themselves safe within the prison population.

These few rules only scratch the surface of prison survival, but, well followed, an inmate will live through it. Prison is not like the movies; there is no wandering around the facility, the officers do not "save" the inmates - it's every man for himself. Common sense, instinct and the guts to stand up for oneself set a man apart. In prison, there are lions and there are lambs; be on guard for predatory actions. Find ways to occupy time: read, go to school, attend church, and try to remain as positive as possible even though negativity runs high behind bars. There are ways to put a cap on the negativity, to stay out of trouble, and to find the best possible people in the population. Keep focused on the light at the end of the tunnel, and most importantly - have faith.