The Prize Patrol

February 25th is the date they said they would be here. Watch for me on tv. I guess I should have my hair done. Well, at least brushed. After all it's THE PRIZE PATROL. They will be here around lunch time. Maybe I should fix something? Oh my, Oh my. Just think, all of our bills could be paid. We could pay off the mortgage. Uh oh. They are bringing flowers. The cats will throw up. Oh Dear, What should I do? ?

Such excitement! I can hardly wait. I am sure it's true. Well maybe not, but the letter said they were coming. It even gave me a time and date. It said that they would meet the media at 11:00 a.m. at the Giant Eagle. Ugh, I hope they don't bring that Sorenson woman or Burnett. We don't really like them much. Besides the media always makes people look like idiots.

I wonder if they will tell the police? Maybe I could listen to a scanner and have some warning. I guess I better get a scanner. What if it snows? What will they do? I don't like people to walk on our walk if there is snow on it. It packs the snow down and makes a slippery footprint. They are hard to get off. So if I listen to a scanner I should know if I have to get the walk cleaned off before they get here.

Do you think I should make coffee for them? Or Tea? Or even cookies, or a pie? How can I decide? I better clean the house so they don't think I am a hoarder. I sort of am, for yarn and material and bobbins and things. I better dust too. I have lots of dust. Oh dear so much to do to get ready. It must be real. Don't you think? If it isn't real I can skip the extra cleaning, can't I? Hm hard to know what to hope for. Bills paid, or get out of housework? Maybe I can clean just the places that show.

What should I do with the money? . Ten per cent to the church. The church. Hmm, we are unhappy with our church. I think maybe it should go to Rich's church. At least they let the lace group meet there. I don't think I can give it to our church. The "old boys club" at Conference has screwed things up so badly that they are trying to sell our building and make us go to the other building that has no parking. No I don't think it can go to our church. I don't think that the denomination as a whole is very Christ like about things. I am sure I can find a better place.

So I'll just say ten per cent to the church and figure out which church later, probably fifty per cent to the government for taxes. That sounds about right. The government needs more, but heck so do I. That leaves 40 per cent for us. Lets see pay off our bills. Pay off my son's bills. Then what? Will there be anything left? It is a Super Prize so there might be. It says a "big check." Does that mean physically big? If it does will it be too large for my bank to cash? I wonder if they will accept a check that is larger than the normal size. Or is the large sized check just a prop for television. And maybe I could get the money directly deposited to our account. That way I can pay the bills and things..

I wonder if we would get some new relatives or friends that have been pretending they don't know us. Hard to say. Money does have an interesting effect on people. I remember an essay question from fourth grade. "What would you do if someone gave you $10,000.00, no strings attached?" That was a lot more money then, than it is now. The teacher wasn't happy with me because I said I wouldn't take it. Even when I was in fourth grade, I knew that there would be strings. There are always strings attached. At the least it is a test from God to see how good a person you are. Can you live up to your parents' expectations? Or even do better than people think you will do? So many big prize winners end up in trouble. How do you avoid that?

Maybe this big prize business isn't so great. Let's see. The winner will have to be prettied up before the Prize Patrol comes. The house should be cleaned spotless, sort of. Charities have to be investigated to be sure that the charity doesn't put all the money into management's pockets. If it were me, I would have to clean up the cat vomit after the cats ate the flowers. (We avoid getting flowers for that reason.) I would have to be sure the walk was clean so I didn't get sued by someone slipping and falling on the walk. I would have to sort out which people like me, and which people are only there for us to give them money. I would have to deal with my conscience which would probably work overtime.

Weighing the benefits against the problems this prize idea might not be all it is cracked up to be. - All those problems to sort out. The only benefit that I can see is that the bills would be paid so I wouldn't have to worry about them any more. That would be good. Maybe it would allow my husband to do some thing that he wants to do. That would be nice. We might be able to be somewhere warm in the winter. But Pittsburgh isn't that bad most of the time. Maybe we could go to a race, but Mansfield doesn't have the trucks any more. So it isn't that great a deal. It would be nice, but I don't think I will jump up and down if they knock on our door. I mean, it isn't the same as if Reutiman won a Cup Race. (For the rest of the world that would be "Junior" rather than Reut) Now that would be really exciting. Reut is one of my favorites.

Don't worry, I don't really think they are coming and I am not really that wound up. I just thought it might be fun to imagine being that excited.