The Proactive Approach

Albert Bandura, the founder of social cognitive theory, discovered that there are three factors in determining ones life direction. He called these three factors "reciprocal triadic determinism."1 Reciprocal Triadic Determinism is composed of three interrelated factors - thoughts, actions and surroundings. For those of you who've heard of Dianetics this is what much of it is based on. I, myself, made the discovery of these three factors about 10 years ago while I was playing the popular video game Tomb Raider. The most important of these three factors is the internal dynamics of your thoughts. Only from thought does decision come.

A decision is a choice that has been made and is being acted upon. A life of making decisions is a life of taking actions. This angle of living gives way to less stress in your life due to reducing the element of surprise. This is a life empowered by taking 100 percent responsibility for your own actions, 100 percent of the time.

A life of chance, which is composed of leaving everything to luck of the draw or circumstance, and a life of blame are both lives of reaction. This angle of living gives way to higher stress, due to the lack of preparation. When this angle of life is lived even things that are constants, such as monthly bills, become stressors. These are lives of unempowerment. People who live reactive lives see themselves as victims of circumstance, yet through bad habits and bad choices they create their lives to be that way - by taking no responsibility for themselves.

We can take luck and chance out of the picture through an old Chinese philosophy, "Luck is when preparation meets opportunity." Blame as we know is not admitting to your own faults throughout life, yet as Jack Canfield says in his book, The Success Principles, "There is one person who has been at the scene of every crime in your lifetime and that person is you!"2 That should rule out both lives of chance and blame, if we are to lead our best possible lives.

Being stressed is to make a choice to not choose to remain in a state of inner peace. It's a choice to instead focus on factors that are not present, in this moment, and feel as if they are. Stress is an illusion of thinking about the future. It's predicting how something will turn out - for the worst - and it's not based on reality. As a matter in fact, most of what we stress and worry about never happens.

What you choose is an action, anything else is a reaction. If you choose to be happy inside, then anything from the outside which alters or invades your internalized happiness would be a reaction. Knowing this, I choose to act and not react. I'm not going to lie to you and tell you that I never have moments of frustration (every human being does). There are moments when I want to tell off a coworker or boss, just like anybody else.

I simply choose not to sustain frustration beyond the few moments of a conflict or situation by letting it elevate into lasting anger. I get back, as quickly as I possibly can, to reconnecting with myself and what I choose; to feel happy and not angry (act not react to the situation or conflict).
While most people believe that becoming responsible raises stress levels, quite the opposite is true! Take 100 percent responsibility for your life, 100 percent of the time from this moment on!

May you be blessed with an abundance of joy, prosperity and growth today! Attract, choose, create, intend, empower and live it to be so, by thinking positive!

1 Social Foundations of Thought and Action: A Social Cognitive Theory, Bandura (1986)

2 The Success Principles, Jack Canfield (2005)