The Progress of Anorexia

With all the media hype about having the body of a heroine addict, it's not wonder that people of all ages develop eating disorders. It can happen to males or females of a any age. For me, it happened once upon a cheeseburger when I was 14. Though that was long ago, the impact of that particular time in life still exists today. Just ask my doctor who knows better than to even mention numbers when discussing my weight. Below is a true account of my progression with anorexia. Believe it or not, though people noticed I was losing weight, they had no idea that there was an actual problem. This is a true account of how a teenage girls need to lose a couple of pounds turned from something so simple to a complete lack of control. Anorexia isn't just about losing weight. It turns a simple diet into an all consuming obsessive compulsive issue.

I was a healthy teen. I worked in a restaurant. I ate cheeseburgers and french fries. I took 3 buses for a total of about an hour and half ride to school everyday. I never worked out other than to go for a short walk or bike ride or doing laps on the swim team. Then I decided I was fat.

I decided to diet and exercise to lose weight. I skipped the fries, added a ton of lettuce to a smaller cheeseburger and skipped dinner. I didn't lose weight fast enough. I began skipping breakfast as well as dinner. I skipped one of my buses and walked those miles in the middle of the night in Chicago instead.

I didn't lose weight fast enough. And, I obviously wasn't getting enough exercise. Why not skip 2 buses instead of one? Since I was already pumped when I got home, I may as well do some workout routines then too.

Why couldn't I lose those last twenty pounds? I better skip the third bus. Was there a time when I actually had bread with my cheeseburger? How did I run out of exercises so fast? I better just do the whole routine over again. And no thanks. I ate dinner at work.

Okay, I'm 5'5" and I can't believe some people think it's okay to be that short and have their weight in the triple digits. And why is everything so messy? I bet I can lose a few extra pounds if I sit up all night and organize my closet alphabetically. But the colors don't look right. I better do it by color, then by alphabet. When did things start sitting so awkwardly on my dresser? I better straighten them out. I wish things would just stay where I put them so I don't have to keep putting them straight.

My aunt is so rude. I don't know what she's talking about. So she can feel my bones when she hugs me. I'm surprised I could even hear her speaking over how loud everyone seemed to be eating those huge bowls full of salad.

I don't think I would be getting so dizzy all the time if I didn't have to constantly clean up after everyone after work. Don't those bread crumbs on the cutting board bother them? It doesn't get any better when I go to a friend's house. I watch them do their chores, then follow behind and straighten things up. Not that I get a chance to go out much now though. Not with working as a cashier, babysitter, general lawn maintenance person and tutor. I can't sit in that classroom any more either. That desk certainly isn't burning off the belly fat. That's why I do all my school work while I'm babysitting. That way I can keep my straight A's and make money. As long as I get the house clean first.

I never realized until the day she died of cancer how much my friend's mother and I had in common. She was shorter than me, but I wore a smaller size pants. She had more of an appetite than me too. Water is a good thing.