The Pros and Cons of EHarmony

eHarmony is a popular online dating website that matches people with their personality profiles. I was a paying member of eHarmony for three months, and I wanted to share my experience by going through the pros and the cons of the site.

The Good
I had a positive experience with eHarmony. I ended up with nearly 130 matches before turning off the matching feature and closing ones I did not feel were compatible. I liked being given matches, because that way I didn't have to sift through a haystack of incompatible matches to find the ones that were worth pursuing. There was one match that I ended up pursuing - we talked on the phone, even met a few times - and while I think there's nothing in our future but a friendship, he was a really nice, caring guy that I had a lot in common with. I got to know him first through the guided communication, which I will get to in a moment, then through open communication on the website, before exchanging screennames, and finally phone numbers.

I really liked the Guided Communication. Some people complain about it because you have to wait to be able to email the person openly (unless you go the Fast Track, straight to open; however I never tried that feature). But I think it's beneficial with the guided questions and answers, because you don't have to reveal too much information, yet you can see, through their profiles and answers, if they seem like a good match.

First, you receive a person's profile. You can post a picture, and the profile lists basics like their first name, where they're from, their religion, their age, and how often they drink and smoke. There are also a few different things like four different words that friends would describe the person as, five things they can't live without, and three best life-skills, for example. After reviewing the profile, you can choose to start communication. The first step is exchanging five multiple-choice questions. A couple of the ones I usually sent were "when in a relationship, how much personal space do you need?" and "what's your philosophy on travel?" There are four choices, as well as a fifth open ended answer if none of the given choices fit.

After exchanging the closed-ended questions, the next step is exchanging "Must Haves and Can't Stands." You choose ten Must Haves, and they include intellect, patience, and loyal. For example, a potential partner for me must have a desire to have children one day, so I put "family" as one of my Must Haves. To contrast, you also must list ten Can't Haves, things you absolutely can't have in a potential partner. Examples include pornography, lying, and undependable.

The next step is exchanging short answer questions. These are three open-ended questions that you send each other. One of the ones I usually sent was "Tell me about your closest friend. How long have you known him/her; and what do you like best about him/her?" This allows you to be more open and revealing than the closed-ended questions earlier in the guided communication.

After these questions, you read a message from Dr. Warren (the founder of eHarmony), then you can start sending emails through the website.

I also liked that many of the matches were serious about a serious relationship. I'm not looking for just a fling or a date, but someone who I will eventually marry. So if you're looking for something more serious, check out eHarmony.

The Bad
My only qualm with eHarmony is how expensive it is. I paid for three months of service, which was just over $100. It would've been cheaper in the long run to pay for a year ($20.95/month opposed to $36.95/month), but I figured three months was a good amount of time, in case I didn't like the service or I found someone and didn't need it anymore.

I decided to not continue paying after my three months, because I realized that at this time in my life, I'm not ready for a relationship (I graduate from college in four months and I don't know where I'll end up afterwards). But I don't regret trying eHarmony out, because I gained a guy friend.

My suggestion is this: if you're looking for a serious relationship, and you're willing to spend the money, check out eHarmony.