The Psychological Effects of Trying to Get a Mortgage Modification

Across the country people who are experiencing the effects of the current recession are applying for loan modifications in an attempt to prevent their homes from going into foreclosure. Servicers like JP Morgan Chase and Wells Fargo and Bank of America have received over $75 billion to help struggling Americans retain their homes. Already extremely stressed as a result of those financial constraints, the additional stressors brought on by the machinations required to attain a modification is having a significant impact on the health of individuals and families. In an article published by the Premier Consumer Advocacy Group called How They Fared: Treasury Releases Rankings of Mortgage Modification Units August 4, 2009, Peter Barnes, a senior Washington Correspondent for FOX Business discusses how difficult it is to actually receive a modification and how few HAMP (the administration's Home Affordable Modification Program) modifications are actually being made. Apparently the number is about 9% of the 2.7 million people who are eligible. Clearly, getting a modification is no easy task.

Stress has always been a cause for increased anxiety and interpersonal conflict. But when your home is in jeopardy the stress is intense. The apparent availability of relief raises hopes of being able to at least keep your home. But the inability to access that relief heightens already emotional instability increasing conflict in all the arenas of your life.

A number of my current patients are in the midst of attempting to get mortgage modifications. They are patients who have originally contacted me because of marital, depression or anxiety issues. Many had presented issues relating to their finances. As their frustrations to attain a modification have increased I have observed the following -

• Increased marital conflict - couples who have had marital difficulties have seen less negotiation, more physical confrontation, less hope for conflict resolution and less tolerance and patience handling parenting issues.
• Increased employment problems and conflict with co-workers. More work days are being missed and people are reporting a decrease in productiveness as a result of the additional strain of trying to attain the modification.
• A decrease in the desire to socialize, with some of my patients not wanting to leave the house as a result of feeling extremely stressed.
• Two patients went to the local emergency room with chest pains that they attributed to the frustration they are experiencing in trying to get their modification.
• Several patients with substance abuse histories have relapsed.

All of my patients attribute their feelings to being unable to get their lender on the phone, information being asked for over and over again, significant amounts of time passing with no information, and when they do get someone on the phone the lack of information or help that person can give.

If you are applying for a modification and are experiencing this type of stress and frustration here are some things to keep in mind -

• If you call the lender every day you will only increase your frustration. The process is slow and this will only make it seem slower. Try not to call more than once a week. Calling will not speed anything up. And it will get you upset.
• If your marriage was ok before your financial difficulties began try to resist divorcing at this time. You may find that this is a hurdle that will pass in time. If the marriage was in trouble before, working things out may be harder now. Try to give each other a little space and remember that taking your anger out on your family is never a good thing. Having an affair and blaming it on stress just won't fly.
• Never take your anger and frustration out on your children. Leave the house before you do something you will regret.
• If you still have a job, use it as an escape. Focus on your work during the day and try to not make calls to the lenders during the day. People at work do not have to hear you if you get angry when you are on the phone.
• Try to find fun things to do with your family. Play with your kids. Going to the movies can be expensive if you are having financial difficulties but you can watch movies together on TV.
• If you have a substance abuse history, go back to AA before you relapse. Get the extra support you need to maintain your sobriety.

The stress of fearing that your family will lose their home and be in the street is tremendous. The local realtors in my area have told me that some lenders are allowing foreclosed homeowners to rent their homes rather than making them leave. Despite the fear and frustration you will do best by taking one day at a time and providing your lender with the information they require.

Premier Consumer Advocacy Group, How They Fared: Treasury Rankings of Mortgage Modification Units, August 4, 2009 http://www.merchantcircle.com/blogs/Premier.Credit.Express.