The Psychology of Succeeding with Women

Your position in life is a direct result of your self-image. The place where you work, your level of health, and your success rate with women is directly affected by how you view yourself. To really succeed with women, it will require a transformation deep within your mind. Once you have programmed your mind for success with women, everything else will automatically fall into place.

We must first accept ourselves before we can change. This does not mean that we should accept our personal problems. The truth is that when you accept, love, and respect your inner self, you will have a healthy foundation from which to build upon.

Next, build a positive self image. Many people fail in relationships simply because they have a poor self-image. When you really think about it, if people do not love themselves, how can they expect others to love them in return? True self-love is not selfish or egotistical. In fact, those who are egotistical ultimately push people away from them because they feel that they do not deserve to be in healthy relationships. On the other hand, when one has a healthy dose of self-respect, they are more likely to respect others, which in turn causes them to have healthier relationships. Thus, remind yourself each day of your unconditional love for yourself.

There are a number of ways to enhance your self-image. One way is to engage in positive self-talk. The way you talk to yourself has a very powerful effect on your mental programming. The more positive your self-talk is, the more likely your life will have positive outcomes. When you mentally repeat statements such as, "I have everything it takes to succeed with women," you are programming your subconscious mind to make such statements reality. Your subconscious mind is a servo mechanism. It has to accept that which you constantly impress upon it.

You also create your own mental programming tapes and play them back throughout the day. This way you can consciously focus on other tasks while your subconscious mind is inundated with positive programming. Just remember to state your goals in the present tense. For instance, instead of saying "I will be successful with women," say "I am successful with women." If you do not state goals in the present tense, you will be telling your subconscious that your are not achieving your particular goal. However, when you state the goal as if it has already been accomplished, your mind is forced to make your physical reality coincide with your inner conviction.

Autosuggestion is a more extreme technique which people use to program themselves for success. Through autosuggestion, you can literally "brainwash" yourself into becoming a successful with women. Autosuggestion is where you take a statement or a series of statements and mentally or verbally repeat them constantly throughout the day. For instance, when you repeat a statement hundreds of times a day, you will literally be causing a shift in the paradigm through which you view your relationships. Therefore, repeat statements throughout the day such as, "I have a very attractive personality" or "I am succeeding with the woman of my dreams."

Your beliefs are the filter through which you view your reality. If you have the belief that you are attractive, you will be more likely to make that belief become your reality. We all create our own self fulfilling prophesies. If we think we are unattractive, then our life will be more likely to follow out that script. Of course it is important to have a realistic view of ourselves, but the fact is that each of us has a powerful ability to steer the direction of our lives.

In order too take control of your life and your relationships with women you will need to have a strong sense of self-efficacy. Self-efficacy is the belief that you have control over your life and that you make a difference in the world around you. The disadvantages of not having self-efficacy are clear. Men with low self-efficacy have the belief that they have very little control over their romantic future. They place the responsibility for their relationships solely in the hands of women. Unfortunately this is the trap that too many men fall into. Instead, have the conviction that you are in total control over your relationships. This way, if you experience roadblocks to success, you will be more likely to take responsibility for the situation.

Now consider your beliefs about women. Remember, your beliefs are affected by your core self-image. When you love and respect yourself you will be more likely to notice, meet, and build relationships with women who love and respect themselves. Likewise, if you dislike yourself on a conscious or subconscious level you will be more likely to meet women who feel the same way about themselves. Have the conviction that you are a loving, attractive, assertive, and charismatic person. You will be much more likely to come across positive women because like attracts like.

Next, create a blueprint for success with the opposite sex by using visualization techniques. Professional athletes often visualize winning the ball game, running the fastest time, or lifting the heaviest weights. You too can use this aspect of visualization to your advantage in achieving your goals with women. When you visualize that you have already accomplished something such as going on a date with an attractive woman, your subconscious mind begins to believe the event actually happened. Once you do find yourself going on a date with her, your mind will be more relaxed since it will sense that it has already accomplished the task before.

For your visualizations to be effective, they should be highly detailed. Consider what your ideal woman looks like? What does her perfume smell like? How would you describe the sound of her voice? These constant visualizations have a strong chance of becoming your reality. Thus, be careful what you wish for because you just might get it. Carefully craft your visualizations, then repeat them over and over to solidify them into your mind.

Another effective method to program yourself for success with women is through self-hypnosis. For thousands of years religious groups have used prayer and other forms of mediation to reach their goals in life. Similar techniques are used by modern day self-hypnosis practitioners. Essentially, any time someone puts their mind into a heightened state of relaxation, their mind becomes more susceptible to the messages impressed upon it. When you are not relaxed or when you are in your normal wakeful state, your conscious mind can easily reject the positive messages that you repeat to yourself. However, when you relax your mental state to the point where your conscious mind takes the back seat, it will be easier for your positive messages to bypass the critical conscious aspect and reach the subconscious.

Getting started with self-hypnosis is easy. The more you do it, the easier it is to achieve a relaxed mental state in the future. There are a number of methods you can use to reach a hypnotic state. Some people begin by counting down from a very large number while focusing on a specific point on the ceiling. Some people use the classic pendulum which has been popularized in the media. Other methods used are envisioning walking down a long staircase to a basement which represents your subconscious mind. The main goal of self-hypnosis is to get into a deeper state of mind. Your conscious mind is only the tip of the iceberg and your subconscious mind is the iceberg's huge underwater mass. When you get into a heightened state of relaxation, you will have wider access to your brain. It is at this point that you can program it to help you reach your goals in life; especially your goals with women.

For your benefit I have included below an exercise that incorporates a few of the self-hypnosis techniques mentioned above. Complete this exercise at your home or office when you are free from distractions. Repeat the exercise at least ten times for maximum benefit.

Mental Programming Exercise:

Sit or lay down in a quiet comfortable environment. Allow all of your muscles to relax. Erase all thoughts from your mind. Take a few deep breaths and exhale slowly. Allow your mind to become peaceful and relaxed. Now close your eyes and imagine that you are at the top of a staircase inside a five story castle. Envision yourself at the precipice of the staircase. Gaze down the staircase and begin walking slowly down the steps. As you walk down the steps you begin counting down from the number 80. The closer you count down to number 1, the closer you become to the basement which represents your subconscious mind.

As you reach the basement you find a blue door. You open the door and find an oak desk with a dark blue computer on it. Next to the desk is a black chair. It is the most comfortable chair you have ever seen so you decide to walk over to the chair and sit down. As you sit in the chair you become so relaxed that your eyelids begin to feel heavy. You are almost at the point of falling asleep as you look at the computer screen and notice that it is playing a video of a beautiful running stream.

You decide to take hold of the computer's mouse and move the pointer to the video image. You click on the video stream and the image morphs into a picture of your brain. You click on the image again and a window opens displaying the words, "Subconscious Control Switchboard." You click on the words and suddenly a black window appears. You click on the black window and type, "Total success with women." All of the sudden a second black window opens displaying two lists. One list is titled, "Negative Associations to Women" and the other list is titled, "Positive Associations to Women". Each list contains millions of pages of information.

As you begin to look over the list of negative associations you become aware that most of them have no basis in reality. So, you decide to click on the window, "Negative Associations to Women" and you press a bright green delete key on the keyboard. You wait for five seconds and all of the sudden a message is displayed stating, "ALL NEGATIVITY DELETED." A feeling of lightness and relaxation washes over your body. You then sit there for one minute with a blank mental state. After the minute is over you recognize that you feel better than you have ever felt at any time of your life. Your inner sense of confidence is magnified a hundred fold and you then decide to use the computer mouse to click on the list containing, "Positive Associations to Women" and in the most soothing voice you have ever heard the computer asks you through its speaker system, "Would you like to add positive programming?" With more confidence than you have ever felt in your life you say, "yes" and the computer responds "I am ready."

You verbally command the computer to accept the following statements:

"I am successful with women"

"I have a strong self-image."

"I am important."

"I am a unique individual."

"I am meant to succeed with women."

"No woman is too attractive for me."

"I am learning more about my true self every day."

"I am open to changes in my life."

"I forgive myself for any past mistakes."

"I am improving my skills with women

every day in every way."

"I am gaining exceptional communication skills."

"I easily pick up on subtle communication."

"I am finding myself in the right place at the right time to meet the right woman."

"I now say the right things in the right situations to attract beautiful women."

"My body language is becoming more positive and attractive each day."

"I now see myself having perfect body language."

"I deserve to be in healthy relationships with women."

"I now handle dates in a positive and effective manner."

"I am very pleasant to be around."

"Women are becoming more comfortable around me."

"I have exactly what it takes to succeed with women."

You press enter on the keyboard and a window opens stating, "Success with women completed."