The Quest to Be a Real Girl!

"The Quest To Be A Real Girl"(For Pinocchio, and everyone else who no longer remembers Fairy Tales)

My Uncle Giovanni.

The man who whittled me out of a block

Of metal was swallowed

By the Lochness Monster.

To repay him

I'll save his life.

Then the Pink Princess will grant my wish-

To be a real girl.

Giovanni's dreams of having a boy

Were wrong.

My dream is to wear makeup

and pantyhose.

We meet Humpty-Hump Dumpty.

His thick black glasses and fake nose

Are quite the laugh.

He won't let us pass his gate,

perching upon it like a protector.

Jiminy and I lure him with ham.

Humpty-Hump falls. Now,

He's a breakfast dish.

Then my conscience

Jiminy Carter and I came

to a tall tower.

A damsel is asleep

up top. Her golden hair had grown all the way

To the bottom of that pillar.

Secluded by many thorns

And a witch's spell- no one can reach her.

Over yonder, Prince Valiant comes to

Save her. A glass shoe in

One hand, and the promise of true love on his lips

Can break the spell.

I'd like that glass slipper

I tell him. But he climbs the tower.

He sees the girl and runs away.

True Love is blind he says

The Princess sleeps for an ugly reason.

At the edge of Fairy Tale land,

Is the Sea of Despair.

Giovanni lies inside the belly

of the monster Out there,

and we are

going to fish him out.

I build a raft and sail out.

My metal body is too heavy for it

And we sink to the bottom.

We see mermaids, Triton and Namor.

Seahorses, Seabulls and Seahawks.

They swim all away from that terrible beast.

The Monster of Lochness.

Lochness sleeps peacefully,

Bubbles of fire pour from his mouth and nose.

My personality and me hop on a bubble

And float back into the beast.

The belly of the beast

is full of treasure,

sunken ships and other artifacts.

In the distance I see my Uncle.

Giovanni desperately whittling

another boy

Out of a cod fish.

Poor uncle, must be delusional.

Come Jiminy, let's go see him.

Hunger brought madness on Giovanni,

These weeks inside Lochness.

He sees me, but is blinded with hunger.

He eats Jiminy right off my shoulder.

Now I am alone with a crazy old coot

In the belly of a beast.

No one can save me now.

Without a plan we'll sit forever

Inside the intestines of Lochness.

Funny how in the land of Fairy tales

This is the only one with an unhappy ending.