The Real Gifts to Give

A few months ago, I really looked forward to this December, deciding I'd take full advantage of the holiday season. I wanted to make a gingerbread house; I wanted to linger in new stores and find creative, surprising gifts; I wanted to bake cookies for my wonderful neighbors.

But my neighbors are still cookie-less (and will likely remain so--sorry, guys.) The gingerbread house just exists in my head. Thankfully, my sister visited in October and we did some store lingering then and bought each other gifts. No surprises, but no stresses, either.

Maybe I won't get to recreate all the greeting-card images I wanted to this year. But I can plan to give some real gifts--gifts that won't need to be returned, are always appreciated, and are always the right size, no matter how much peppermint bark you consume. I hope you decide to give some of these gifts, too, to the people you work and live with.

". . .as the shoppers rush home with their treasures," sings Bing in "Silver Bells." What treasures, I wonder? I can't find a product in any shop window that appropriately recognizes what's been a watershed year for most of us.

After watching friends and family go through the greatest workplace and lifestyle changes in recent history, it seems cheesy to give a store-bought gift. So, as I look back on this year, here's the list I've made of real gifts I can give to everyone on my list.

The Gift of Showing Up. One thing I've learned in 2009 is that sometimes, just showing up in person is meaningful. Meeting for coffee instead of just playing phone tag can make a huge diffference to a colleague, job seeker, or overwhelmed friend. Showing up at the reunion, business conference, party or even funeral--people notice--and appreciate--your presence even if nothing remarkable is said or done.

The Gift of Perspective. Earlier this year, a friend caught me holding back on my opinions and ideas, trying not offend anyone. That's a losing battle. I recognized I do have something to say, and I will always have a point-of-view. When it's needed, I'll give you the gift of my perspective. However, you're an adult--you're free to take it and use it-- or to just ignore it (like you did the Zac Effron mittens I gave you last year.)

The Gift of Hands. A lot of people offer you good ideas for your work and life. That's great. But I'll also lend you my hands. The best ideas deserve to be set into motion, and sometimes, that just needs tangible action --fingers on a keyboard, legs on the pavement, arms around a torso. The hands can pick up where the head leaves off.

The Gift of a Giggle. The bellylaughs came few and far between in 2009. I'm not even sure I saw a movie that truly made me laugh out loud. But there were smiles and chuckles that came up, sometimes just as simple acknowledgements of the silliness of our workplaces, our society, and our families. I'll stop trying to be so serious and start giving good giggle.

The Gift of Words. No matter how much we edit them to 140 character messages or vowel-less texts, words still matter. "Thank you" makes an impact. "Great job" says volumes. "I appreciate you. . .trust you . . .am grateful for you. . ." Can anyone tire of gifts like that? Writing, speaking, and really meaning our words makes a gift no one will forget.

That's my list of real gifts. Others on my list are time, patience, energy, enthusiasm, listening, appreciation, and of course, love and joy. Now where do I find a box to fit all of those??

What's on your list?