"The Real Housewives of Atlanta" Play Games

Fake Doctors, Fake Due Dates and Fake Hair

Wordwiley
Well, well, well. Was anyone surprised (well, anyone but Kandi, apparently) that Phony Phaedra's baby wasn't coming out early as she wanted everyone to believe but was waaaaay overdue? Yea, me neither.

Phony Phaedra and hubby Apollo headed to Augusta for the birth of the baby, where her doctor of choice (translation: the only doctor she'd let near her V-jay jay) resides. Dr. Lue and his wife visit with the parents-to-be the night before to explain the induction procedure. They query the couple about recent sleeping habits and weave horror stories about being housebound for two years. Phony Phaedra and Apollo look equally clueless and Phony Phaedra won't let a little thing like a baby stand in the way her weekly massages. Or her facials. Or her mani/pedis. She can always follow the Camille Grammer method of motherhood and employ two nannies per child.

Back in the ATL, Kandi throws herself a birthday bash at her clothing boutique, Tags. Lisa, who for a non-Housewife seems to keep finding ways to worm her way into the action, is there, as is MIA, Dwight. Cynthia and Kim press Dwight for details on Phony Phaedra's pregnancy and it's clear he's been drinking the Kool-Aid. Kim whips out her nursing degree (is it bad that I was in awe of Kim's intellect on the subject?) and breaks it down to Dwight about how Phony Phaedra's stories just don't add up. Dwight slinks off for a cocktail and Kandi reveals she's headed to Augusta. Kim wants to make the trip so she can interrogate the doctor herself, but when Kandi tells her no smoking in the car, Kim decides a pack of cigarettes is more important than busting Phony Phaedra. Later, Kim gives Kandi a wig from her line as a birthday gift. Cynthia wasn't digging it and Kandi thought it looked "hookerish." Well...consider the source.

Independent woman, NeNe interviews for an entertainment reporter gig at a local TV station. The management wants to know about the tiff she had with Michael Lohan (Lindsay's daddy) on an interview show and warn her about not acting like a diva and saying things like "klonk." They're also counting on her to bring in the big celebrity names and salivate over who she thinks she can land (Tyler Perry, Mo'Nique and Ludacris, among others). NeNe feels the pressure and determines she needs to deliver and but big.

Over in Augusta, Phony Phaedra checks into the hospital and they want to know how many weeks she is and once again she plays dumb. Draped in full hair and make-up, Phony Phaedra is prepped for induction. Kandi and Phony Phaedra's mom drop by and the attorney admits, she's "lost touch with this baby thing." A discussion ensues about mom's rules about having to be married before having babies, and the truth about Phony Phaedra's due date begins to emerge. And then Dr. Lue comes in and drops the bombshell that Phony Phaedra is 40 WEEKS along. 40 WEEKS! Apollo turns the volume up on his iPod, mom looks around like she didn't hear what the doctor said and Phony Phaedra tries to backpedal about theories that other doctors had. It pains the normally savvy Kandi to admit she was sipping out of the same pitcher of Kool-Aid as Dwight and that KIM of all people was De-Wight, not De-Wrong.

In the end, Phony Phaedra had to have a C-section, because the baby refused to cooperate with his mama's lies. So there.

Sheree throws a graduation party for her kids and invites her ex-hubby to the festivities. NeNe and her son, Brentt, join the fun and Sheree fills NeNe in on her plan to throw a spades party and invite the doctor she's been seeing. NeNe wants all the deets, while the ex tries to nose around for his own details on this new man.

The doctor shows up a little early for Sheree's party and she puts him to work while she pulls the rollers out of her hair. Lawrence sashays in wearing heels and shorts and declares while everyone else plays spades, he will play sexy. Kandi and Sheree raided each other's closet and closet freak Lisa manages to show up to this shindig, too. NeNe is in the house and once she lays eyes on the doctor, it's on. She knows him and not in a good way. NeNe gives him the evil eye and tells him she'll talk to him later. NeNe pulls Sheree aside and tells her he's not a doctor and he got busted for billing himself as a licensed psychologist. NeNe advises a boiling Sheree to play it cool because she's not 100 percent sure.

Meanwhile, Kandi fills in the ladies on Phony Phaedra's due date and notices something brewing with NeNe and the doctor. Kandi's gears click into place and she also remembers something shady about the doc from a few years back. The doctor finds himself in the hot seat as everyone wants to know where he got his degree from (I'm with Kandi on this one - can you get a doctorate online?). He sweats buckets as he tries to smooth talk his way around questions about his credentials. Sheree remains quiet, but her disappointment and - I suspect rage - are bubbling away underneath. Who'd pay money to see Sheree sink the heel of one of her stilettos into the landing strip on top of his head?

Next week, Phony Phaedra brings her baby home, Sheree wants the doctor to show her the proof and Gregg spills his guts.

Published by Wordwiley

Freelance copywriter living in Chicago who is a Bravo TV junkie who also enjoys reading, a good glass of wine now and again and Sunday brunch.  View profile

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