"The Real Housewives of New Jersey" Celebrate Good Times

For the first time in weeks, the entire episode of "The Real Housewives of New Jersey" didn't revolve solely around Desperate Danielle. It was like...a breath of fresh air. Bravo's regular producers and editors must have been off sunning themselves somewhere with the tan-orexic Andy Cohen.

As we now know in startling detail, Joe and Teresa have some major money troubles. Teresa might want to rethink Joe's plan to move into that apartment building after all. Their 10-year anniversary is coming up and Teresa wants a diamond. Joe is sweating because money's not "flowing" but "trickling." Jacqueline's husband, Chris suggests he get her a fugazi. I'm ashamed to say, I had to look that up. Of course seeing as how I have neither diamond nor fugazi, I guess it's not that unusual. In the end, Joe pulls out quite a romantic evening. He charters a helicopter for a whirl over New York City and later plans an intimate dinner and dessert, with a massive yellow diamond tucked inside a molten chocolate cake. Yikes - did Teresa have to put her ice up on the auction block? Oh and more than a little grossed out by Teresa straddling Joe on the bed at the hotel suite they rented for the night. I wanted to see that about as much as I wanted to see Bethenny peeing on a stick.

Desperate Danielle had her own party to plan, a Sweet 16 for her daughter, Christine. Was anyone else surprised that Christine was invited to her own party? Desperate Danielle wants to throw an over-the-top fête for Christine, while the thrift-minded teen is conscious about how much it will cost. Her solution is to turn it into a fundraiser and donate all the proceeds to charity. This gives Desperate Danielle the out she's looking for, who manages to throw a bash that rivals anything we've ever seen on "My Super Sweet 16." But more on that in a moment.

I'm starting to think Caroline is permanently attached to her kitchen. Can anyone remember the last scene she was in that wasn't in her house? No wonder her kids stop by with their egg orders at all times of day and night. Jacqueline comes by to give her sister-in-law an update on Ashley's looming legal troubles and more specifically, Kim G.'s presence in the situation. Caroline advises Jacqueline to keep her distance from the blonde one, as spending time with her will give Desperate Danielle a "window" into her world. Caroline is waiting for the nuclear meltdown that will occur when Desperate Danielle finds out who Kim G. has been keeping company with. Later (in the kitchen, where else?) Caroline's son, Albie pops in, fresh from his police academy-mandated haircut. While he waits for his law school situation to be resolved, Albie decided to join the academy. Beats working at The Brownstone, I suppose. Chris wants to know if he can mace his brother, and later, Albie puts Chris and Lauren through a police workout. They respond by locking him out of the home gym.

The Sweet 16 is days away and Desperate Danielle's younger daughter, Jillian, decides to use the party for her singing and songwriting debut. Jillian penned a tune in tribute to her sister, but was almost felled by a horrific case of stage fright. Desperate Danielle wants to bling herself out for the night and shares with her girls that she's going to wear the doorknob engagement ring their father bought for her. Turns out, the ex will be in attendance with his new wife, so you know Desperate Danielle just wants to instigate, as usual. Desperate Danielle also plans to give the ring to Christine when she gets engaged. Pity the poor future fiancé who has to compete with that.

The Sweet 16 arrives and Desperate Danielle has been busy as a bee tricking out the space to look like a "forbidden room" at a nightclub with leather and Bordeaux reds. Desperate Danielle points out it's an expensive party, but - a-ha! Because, as Desperate Danielle smugly informs us, Christine decided to turn it into a fundraiser, everything was gratis. And Desperate Danielle slithers away once again. Desperate Danielle's ex shows up and she cries and drapes herself all over him as his wife looks on. She doesn't get off easy, as Desperate Danielle also swallows her into an embrace that lasts a little too long. The kids dance and have fun and Jillian wows the crowd with her song. Desperate Danielle pats herself on the back for being "the best mom in the world," and crows she must be doing something right for her kids to have turned out so well. I think her kids succeed in spite of her, but that's a psychoanalysis for another day.

While Desperate Danielle and her crew were living it up, Ashley picked up her court summons. Jacqueline is peeved at Ashley's flip attitude and wants to know if her daughter has learned anything. Ashley's bright idea is to countersue Desperate Danielle. Jacqueline enlightens husband Chris on the situation and they agree Ashley needs tough love. Chris wants to know if Ashley is still waging her Internet campaign against Desperate Danielle and urges her to forget the woman even exists. Ashley just can't let go of her obsession with the Weaved One and Jacqueline dissolves into tears.

Next week, Teresa throws a christening, Dina's back and Desperate Danielle uncovers a secret.

Sources:

Charlotte Triggs, Bankrupt Teresa Guidice's Belongings Up For Auction on Aug. 22, PEOPLE.com