"The Real Housewives of New Jersey": It's Ok to Leave Home Without Them

A glimmer of hope appeared across my computer screen today when the rumor mill went into overdrive with murmurs that Desperate Danielle had gotten the ax from a possible Season Three of "The Real Housewives of New Jersey." Could it be the Garden State Gals will have something else to obsess over next season? Will Dina return? Did the cast revolt and demand Desperate Danielle's ouster? It's almost too much to hope for that we'll be released from the one-note debacle the show became this season. Watch What Happens.

In the meantime, we had to endure another week of the trip from hell. The simple little sojourn to Italy continued and to Caroline's relief, they were done sailing around the ocean, but considering what was waiting, she'd have been better off staying on the boat. Joe called it when he said it wasn't a vacation. Caroline and Albert plotted how they could escape and Albert mused that while the Giudice girls were special, they needed an iron hand. You gotta hand it to those girls though - they are quite the little multi-taskers as they determined that baby Audriana could take a bath in the "little sink" in their hotel room. Better yet, take the baby to Desperate Danielle's house for bath time. At least her bidet is local. The Cast of Thousands chartered a bus to take them to the town of SalaConsilina for theGiudice family reunion. Instead of a pleasant drive through the Italian countryside, everyone was treated to Joe ranting and raving about the hotel charges (showing his "civilized" side.) Add to this the screeching Giudice girls and everyone looked like they were ready to jump out of the bus and roll down a hillside.

While we were practically Desperate Danielle-free last week, our luck didn't hold out as she popped up in more scenes this week. Mostly, we got to marvel at the English language as only Desperate Danielle could speak it. What with these "woman" attacking her and using her "ethniticity" as a guide to her past while she gets a "pan-nini." She talked to her daughters about the search for her birth mother and took yet another opportunity to pat herself on the back for being a good mom to her kids. Later, she and the Thugtastic Danny plan to go out to eat and Desperate Danielle is thrilled to find out with the Manzo/Laurita/Giudice contingent long gone from Franklin Lakes, she could get a "pan-nini" at her favorite deli. Thugalicious Danny hooks Desperate Danielle up with a local private investigation firm and she visits with them to put them on the trail of her birth mother. Desperate Danielle declares she won't tolerate a drug-addicted homeless woman as her birth mother. Later, the team lets her know they've put in a request for her adoption records, but because her birth mother was a minor, it could take up to ten years to gain access.

Back in Italy, the Cast of Thousands braved about a thousand stairs and a steep hill to see Joe and Teresa's families. Relatives were everywhere: grandmothers, great-grandmothers, uncles, cousins, you name it. Caroline's discomfort continued as she revealed she wasn't fluent in Italian beyond curse words. Teresa, meanwhile, chattered away in her native tongue, introducing everyone to this niece and that aunt. A feast awaited the Cast of Thousands, and Jacqueline and Caroline, while they had no idea whose house they were at or whose plates they were eating off of, plunked down at the table, relieved not to be climbing an interminable hill. The never-ending vacation actually comes to an end with a special family dinner, where Teresa trotted out her three pink poodles, I mean daughters, in the most horrific matching outfits that she had custom-made, no less. Yet another reason to put a cap on her spending.

Finally everyone arrives back home in New Jersey. Albert and Caroline's kids offer to make them a quick meal before sending them off to bed, Jacqueline is tense about the drama surrounding Ashley and her upcoming court case, while Milania doesn't seem to realize she's back in Jersey. Maybe Joe and Teresa should install a bidet; that should make her feel at home.

Next week is the season finale - time sure did fly, didn't it? Caroline requests a sit-down, while Desperate Danielle wants to punish Ashley.

Sources:

Usmgazine.com