"The Real Housewives of Orange County" Call it a Day

Last night was the season finale of "The Real Housewives of Orange County" and boy did it deliver. Between the antics of Lynne's daughters (and frankly Lynne, too) Gretchen and Slade's mistaken belief they were attending a wedding reception and visits from Lauri and Jeana, it was a richly layered episode. Of course the saddest thing of all was to watch Tamra finally crack under the strain of her faltering marriage.

A great chunk of the episode was dedicated to the increasingly nasty situation between Simon and Tamra. You could feel the lid about to blow clean off the pot as Simon picked at Tamra over the outfit she planned to wear to the end-of-summer party. He sniped she needed to "dress like a married woman" and a defiant Tamra donned a dress that Simon said "looked like something Lynne would wear." Tamra toasted her choice by raising a glass to her "slutty dress."

It only got worse from there. The Barney's limo ride to the party exacerbated an already volatile situation. The barbs and stings escalated into full-on war as once again, conversation turned to Simon's perception of Miss Vicki as an evil, marriage-interfering bitch, even going so far as to declare she shouldn't "tell my wife to be a strong, independent woman." He says Tamra has become just like Miss Vicki, that she's never home and is neglecting her family. Tamra explodes that "if you were working and making money, we wouldn't be in this position." At that point, it was clear Tamra was done and she declared she wanted a divorce.

As they arrived at the party, Simon tried to sweetly pressure his wife into not talking about what had just transpired. It was extremely disturbing to watch this exchange; Simon clutching Tamra so tightly as she struggled to break free of his embrace. She looked like a woman who was drowning and I desperately wanted to throw her a lifeline.

Simon and Tamra spent most of the party on opposite sides of the room, not-so-silently cursing each other. The rest of the Housewives were oblivious to the wrecking ball hovering over the proceedings as they sipped and supped. Mama Jeana made her second appearance in as many weeks along with former Housewife, Lauri. Gretchen and Sleazy Slade were the talk of the town as he wore a modified tux and she pranced in wearing a white mini-dress that Madonna would have donned in 1985 to sing "Like a Virgin." Everyone speculated they were using the party to announce their engagement and/or wedding, but alas, no such news. Meanwhile, Jeana's jackhole son, Shane, chatted up Creepy Couple, Jimbo and Alexis, wanting to know how they were fitting in. Alexis fills him in on her battles with Miss Vicki and Shane gave her tips on how to annoy her, which Alexis ate up.

Front-runners for "Clueless Parents of the Year," Frank and Lynne were tardy for the party, with their boozy brood in tow. As their daughters strutted in looking like refugees from a Warrant video, it was clear they were wasted courtesy of the limo mini-bar (which I'm guessing Bravo sprung for). Lynne cried obliviousness, blaming the limo's gargantuan size on her not being able to see that they were filling their water bottles with booze. Later, Sleazy Slade whispered to Frank that his daughters were bombed and that all the servers were snickering about it. Alexa even tried to order a martini and didn't understand why she was denied. On a side note, line of the night went to Lynne, when in talking about the hard financial times Frank had had with his business, she noted, "if I didn't have my business...we'd be...like literally on the street." Um, guess what Lynne - you are! And the fog shows no sign of lifting anytime soon.

Later, Lauri corners Gretchen to pump her for information about her relationship with Sleazy Slade. Gretchen put on a quite a show, calling him "a catch" and rhapsodizing about how crazy in love they are. Lauri hopes it's sincere and that Sleazy Slade isn't using her, given his history of banging Housewives. Gretchen even laughed that Sleazy Slade told her he and Lauri never even went on a date. Cue flashback of Slade's ex, Jo, revealing how she spotted them in a club and pictures of Lauri and Sleazy Slade kissing. Lauri sets Gretchen straight and Gretchen looks all kinds of nervous.

After throwing her under the bus for most of the season, a shaken Tamra reached out to Miss Vicki for comfort. Miss Vicki being who she is, she spent half the time consoling Tamra and the other half complaining about how badly Simon had treated HER and why hadn't Tamra stopped him. Not the time, Miss Vicki, not the time. Simon went on Code Red when he saw Tamra and Miss Vicki talking and immediately ran over to bust it up. He repeatedly asked what they were talking about, even pulling Tamra to the side to ensure she wasn't spilling the beans about the fight in the limo. Tamra looked terrified and resisted his entreaties that she tell him what she was talking about. Simon finally bolted from the party and Tamra refused to run after him.

And so we end another crazy season of "The Real Housewives of Orange County." Next week is part one of the Reunion and you know it's going to be a doozy.