"The Real Housewives of Orange County" Let it Rip

Enemies, Bitches and Man-whores

Wordwiley
Tonight's episode of the "Real Housewives of Orange County" picked up where last week's fight left off and teed up Jeana's last stand.

Gretchen and Tamra continued to claw at each other, as we saw part two of their screaming match from the premiere. Tamra walked out and declared she wants to associate with wholesome people, not gold diggers like Gretchen. Gretchen seems bewildered that Tamra isn't her BFF. Wow. Did Gretchen watch the show last season? From jump street, Tamra has had it in for Gretchen - whether she's jealous or as Miss Vicki has alluded to, Gretchen has a whole mess of skeletons rattling around in her closet that we don't know about, who knows. Whatever it is, these two will never be besties. But, boy, does it make for AWESOME television.

To take her mind off her showdown with Tamra, Gretchen throws a tanning party. Housewives man-whore, Slade takes the opportunity to not only bag on Tamra, but bring his own frank and beans to the party. We're only two episodes in and I'm so over Slade. Not that I was ever into Slade, but his whole presence just seems foul. Lynne's barely pubescent daughter asks if she can have a beer. Lynne acts outraged, but I think the lady doth protests too much. I'll bet Lynne and Frank have been giving those gals sips out of the bottle since they left the womb. Later, Lynne goes for a full-body effect tan and strips down to her skivvies while Gretchen serves as "breast man."

True BFF's, Tamra and Miss Vicki meet for lunch and discuss Tamra's increasingly desperate financial situation. Vicki thinks Simon should get out of the tequila business and go back to selling cars and that Tamra should stop shopping and get a job.

Speaking of financial woes, Jeana has had to sell watches, cars and art to keep things going. According to Jeana's blog last week, she was in such dire straits, other folks were paying the bills. Later, she goes shopping with her daughter, Kara, who calculates how many kids spilling lemonade on her she'll have to endure to afford new clothes (she's a waitress now.) A few seasons back, Kara absconded with Jeana's credit card and ran up some ridiculous bill and felt no guilt about it. And now she's on a budget. What a difference a few years makes. Jeana foreshadows her impending departure by bemoaning the continual cloud of drama that hangs over the Housewives and how she no longer has time for it. The wear and tear is taking its toll on the two original Housewives; during the cuff party, Miss Vicki snapped she'd been "doing this frickin' five years with these bitches." Will Miss Vicki be the next Housewife to fly the coop?

Youth-obsessed Lynne takes her daughter, Raquel with her to her plastic surgery consultation. Lynne wants a facelift and Raquel wants a nose job. Later, youngest daughter Alexa flips out over all the "changes" in her family, but I think what she's most upset about is that the slacker older daughter gets everything handed to her, while she gets nothing.

Miss Vicki is the only Housewife not suffering through the bad economy and to celebrate, takes a trip to Italy with her mother and Brianna (technically, the trip was a graduation gift for her daughter.) Miss Vicki lugs four suitcases to Italy and is dismayed to realize the $500+ a night suite she booked is the size of a matchbox. Not only that, she has to contend with her curmudgeon of a mother. Miss Vicki's mother is a perpetual complainer and is the type of person you would least want to travel with because she grouses about everything. Still it seemed some good times were had and Miss Vicki even let a "woo-hoo!" rip.

We got a sneak peek at new Housewife, Alexis Bellino. Simon knows Alexis' husband, Jim and the two couples meet up for dinner. Alexis and Jim are that nauseating couple who are preternaturally joined at the hip; whenever he goes on a business trip, she goes along and they have never spent more than one or two nights apart during their marriage. Alexis even fixes a plate of food for Jim, while Simon and Tamra look confused and uncomfortable. Later, it was Jim and Alexis' turn to look uncomfortable Ken and Barbie jab at each other over Simon's apparent need to always be right. Jim zings Simon by telling him in fact, he's not always right.

Next week, Mama Jeana bids the Housewives farewell, but it doesn't look like too many of them will be shedding tears.

Sources:

http://www.bravotv.com/

Published by Wordwiley

Freelance copywriter living in Chicago who is a Bravo TV junkie who also enjoys reading, a good glass of wine now and again and Sunday brunch.   View profile

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