The Real Time Strategy Game (RTS) Soldier: Full of Cliches

Touted as highly trained individuals of destruction, we gamers reduce the role of the common real time strategy game (RTS) soldier to mere cannon fodder. Mass produced, plentiful, with a lifespan of minutes and cheaply available, the RTS soldier is often the backbone of any RTS army and this article takes a look at the characteristics of this beloved unit.

From a fantasy warfare environment to a modern warfare one, the RTS soldier is literally the cheapest and most expendable unit in the game. Nobody thinks twice about sending these little, loyal soldiers to their doom. RTS soldiers are the first to be sent on reconnaissance missions, where their existence is forgotten until you hear their screams of pain and anguish as they are being shot, stabbed, burned, mauled, or trampled after they encounter the enemy.

They are also the first units you leave behind to cover a retreat, stalling the enemy with their lives while you're faster and more valuable units retreat to the safety of your base. If they are in trouble you often ignore them as the enemy picks them off at their leisure while they futilely scream and plea for help. After all, it is not cost effective to send reinforcements to rescue the common RTS soldier, or several of them for that matter.

Ah...but one must admire their immense loyalty. These little RTS soldiers are the most loyal soldiers ever as they never complain nor question your orders. If you tell a single soldier to charge a fortress guarded by cannons, land mines, and snipers, there is no hesitation in his voice. Simply a "Yes sir!" and off he goes...to his inevitable doom.

Likewise if you tell RTS soldiers to guard a valley they will never retreat, even if bombs, artillery, or the devil himself are all bearing down upon them. If you tell a RTS soldier to stand in front of a tank, he will blindly stand there, unwavering and never questioning your authority even as the tank treads grind his body to a bloody pulp. These soldiers live to follow your orders and their little hearts must swell with pride when you select them for a task. And they'll do their best to follow your orders no matter what the consequences are!

Their loyalty does speak volumes of their intelligence...or lack thereof. Quite often they will simply stand around while they are being attacked. Frustratingly, it doesn't matter that they can see the tank or the archer attacking them, RTS soldiers refuse to budge. Apparently RTS soldiers prefer death rather than simply moving out of the way or even defending themselves. Perhaps doing so violates some RTS code of honor, which requires RTS soldiers to simply "suck it up and smile".

Due to this, enemy artillery or long range units have a field day against RTS soldiers as they simply lob attack after attack against them, pummeling him and his buddies to their doom. Again, common sense would be to take cover or move but without orders, RTS soldiers simply stay where they are. Perhaps the RTS soldier is so dumbfounded and awed at the oncoming barrage they neglect to move out of harm's way.

Similarly, if you tell an RTS soldier to go somewhere he always takes the most hazardous route. Somehow the concept of self-preservation has been erased from their minds. It doesn't matter if there's a minefield in front of the soldier, they'll happily blow themselves up along with dozens of their buddies in a vain attempt to navigate the minefield. The same applies if RTS soldiers see a poison cloud clearly in front of them. Bravely choking and braving the toxin, they'll try, but often die, before they reach the other side.

But you must admire their physical strength and endurance. Able to wear the heaviest of armor, wielding the largest of swords or guns, capable of running and marching miles upon miles without exhaustion, these soldiers have seemingly limitless energy to support you and your cause. It doesn't matter if their objective is 1 or 10 kilometers away, they'll surely and slowly march to their destination, or die trying.

RTS soldiers can also absorb immense amounts of punishment. Of course RTS soldiers are not invincible but they show amazing resiliency to damage. Artillery can explode next to them and they can still walk. If they are shot they do not fall down. Viscous sword blows seem nothing more than surface wounds to RTS soldiers. Wounded RTS soldiers are healed within minutes of receiving medical treatment but even when wounded, they can still fight as if they were in perfect health.

The sensation of pain is seemingly oblivious to the RTS soldier. Perhaps their adrenaline levels are so high in battle they fail to notice when they are wounded. If a RTS soldier has been shot 10 times, stabbed in numerous places, burned with a flamethrower, or even stood next to an explosion, the RTS soldier continues to fight as if nothing happened until he takes so much damage that his body finally gives out...and then he dies. Interestingly enough, whenever RTS soldiers die, they always seem to have all their limbs, regardless of what kind of trauma their bodies have just endured.

Speaking of death, RTS soldiers must have the most fertile bodies ever. Within minutes their entire body will decompose and disappear into the Earth. You will never see the aftermath of a bloody battle involving RTS soldiers. By the next day, all their bodies have mysteriously vanished, feeding the flora, fauna, or other life nearby with the remainder absorbed into mother Earth.

At least recruitment of RTS soldiers is never an issue. For no matter how many soldiers I lose, there are always plenty of replacements available. It doesn't matter if my nation's economy is shattered, the world desolate, the birth rate close to zero, if I need soldiers I can make...I mean recruit them! I can send wave after wave of RTS soldiers to their doom without fear of ever diminishing my manpower supply. It does not hurt that training a RTS soldier takes only a matter of seconds (perhaps explaining their intelligence), allowing me to recruit armies in a matter of minutes. If a hundred people died in my last (and perhaps futile) attack on the heavily fortified enemy base...I'll send two hundred! And if that fails...three hundred! And if that fails...maybe I should reconsider my options...

Of course it does not help the RTS soldier that technology never seems to catch up. Every time my scientists research anything they develop amnesia. After discovering a new spell it is forgotten, after inventing a new weapon it is forgotten, seemingly everything they do is forgotten! The lifespan of every RTS soldier would be greatly increased if scientists simply remembered what they discovered in the last mission. But amnesia or senility always sets in and more hapless RTS soldiers die as the scientists literally reinvent the wheel.

But no matter how many issues RTS soldiers have, or apparently how useless they sound, the common RTS soldier is the backbone of the RTS army. From the human wave to the last ditch defense, the RTS soldier and his undying loyalty to you will always serve you well. His courage and constant, constant sacrifice allows you to develop and create more powerful units to crush the enemy on the battleground. Although his intelligence is low and his IQ horrendous, the loyalty of the RTS soldier to your cause is unquestionable and as a result, he will always help lead your RTS army to victory!