The Reality of Being Single in the City

Being a college educated single man or woman living in the big city sounds like a walk in the park. You do not have a spouse to compromise with. Many times you do not have children to contend with. All of you money is truly yours. You have nothing that binds you to one place. You can be whomever you want to be. However, the cliched American Dream doesn't always happen. Going to college, getting your ideal job and living happily ever after is not reality for most people. In the real world, things are not always fair. Life comes at you fast. It seems like every time you turn around, there is another thing you have to remember to do. Sometimes all those little things add up. He results can be depressing and devastating. The goal is to make the most of it, and enjoy all you can. This is sometimes easier said than done.

That idealistic mentality you had in college is long gone. First you have your career. Many of us have jobs with long hours and/or work multiple job just to somewhat stay on top of our bills. When you work 55-70 hours a week, finding time for a social life isn't always an easy thing. Not to mention, you might want to date from time to time. Life is a juggling act.

Admittedly being single does have its perks. It is not the most oppressive and depressing thing that could ever happen to a person. Still sometimes it is hard to make it all work.

Working is usually not an optional thing. Yes, some people have found ways to get paid lots of money for doing very little. The rest if us have to put in a great deal of time just to be able to take care of ourselves. I average a 60 hour work week between my full time job, my part time teaching job, and my writing jobs and that is just to be able to take care of myself. The hours are long. Sometimes it hard to stay focused, and burn out happens more often than I would like.

While work is usually a must, people still need to have fun. It isn't healthy to work 24/7. That is where a social life comes into play. The question is, how do you make time for you friends? There are only so many hours in a day. The next question is: How do you pay for it? Going out costs money. Drinks, food, cover charges, movie tickets, parking fees and other charges add up quickly for the social butterfly. This could be very costly for someone who is already on a budget. Plus finding new friends can be daunting. Once you are out of school, meeting new people is very hard.

Now lets say you are really advantageous, and you decide that you want to try your hand at dating. Remember when I said meeting friends was hard? Meeting people to date is even harder. When you barely have time for a social life, meeting that special someone, and then finding time to spend with that person can be a challenge. Online dating can work, but it is still risky. Hooking up with people with in a friends group can lead to disaster. Even dating a friend of a friend can be awkward in the aftermath of a relationship falling apart.

How do you make it all work? That I'm not totally certain on, but there are some things I have learned over the years.

If you are going to work yourself to the bone, never give up your dream. I may have to keep my day job, and teach to make the bulk of my income. Still the writing is my passion, and I am working to make that my career. That makes the other two jobs, and the burn out worth it. The main jobs may not be perfect, but they keep my bills paid while I work on my real career.

You can't work all the time. While I still feel guilty for having fun from time to time (because I should be working), I know that working constantly will just crush my spirit and make me lose focus. Sometimes I need a break, and to spend time with people who care about me.

Have fun and do not forget to enjoy your life. Do not waste your time with fake people. Find real genuine friends who will be there for you no matter what. If they can't return your love with love, they are not worth your time. Never settle on a significant other. You deserve better than that.

Being single is better than being in an unhappy relationship! Just like with all aspects of your life, set boundaries, set realistic goals, be honest and be careful.