The Reality of Coping with Suicide

When a tragedy with such impact overwhelms us, we need to transform our mind-sets into a "survivor" mode. Amidst such turmoil and anguish, keeping focused is a chore all on its own. The person who completed the suicide is not the true victim; all of the survivors are. I too, am a survivor! I find myself in a fog of indecision, pain, guilt, and confusion. Does this sound familiar? Let's explore some avenues to rediscovering our new lives; together.

Let's Tackle It Together!

Reaching out and receiving in what others offer is vital. We are in a whirlwind of emotional disconnection to some degree, yet we all need to fight this battle as a team. Not knowing what our needs are keeps us from moving forward. Every minute is filled with decisions that need to be addressed by those of us who are afraid to face them. Start with your basics. Baby steps will become leaps...someday, I promise.

Allow a support team to surround you. They will assist in providing your basic needs with no preempting discussion. Your new foundation is solid, you need to trust in that. Family, friends, and community members are here to protect and serve you. As a victim, we become needy. That is OK! Utilize the resources presented . Strength and healing begins with suffering and acknowledgment.

Let it all out--all the time!

Feelings of guilt, shame, and hurt keep us silent. We need to break the silence bearer; sooner rather than later. Discussing our stories with everybody creates a healing release that surrounds us. Knowing there are others with similar stories, sheds loneliness and transfers our deepest feelings into useful energies. Support groups, counselors, and the team of activists amongst us are great resources to tap. Remember, the rest of the world keeps moving; leaving us chasing the handle to pull ourselves back up. This reality sucks, but it should be used as a motivator.

Keep an eagle eye out for the day's positives. No matter how miniscule they may seem, they too heal. A favorite candy to tantalize your taste buds; can do wonders. Finishing a project you have been procrastinating on; feels rejuvenating. It is the simple things, we are exposed to everyday, that balance us. Make a list of the day's accomplishments. Getting out of bed, reading an article, completing a journal entry; are all excellent starting points.

Today is a new beginning!

Our lives are brand new. Forget what you thought your life was and embrace the life you are now living. Letting go of our past frees up our future. The suicide has changed our outlook and that is our new reality. Everything happens for a reason. We may not understand why, but we are living it. Try something you always wanted to before. Keep your focus on a brighter tomorrow. Do not take what you have for granted. Refuse to compromise beliefs and values. You are the ship, captain, and crew of your destiny. Time is currently your enemy and change is a stranger; this too shall pass. Time will be your best friend and change will become your driving force.

Today still hurts and is guided by yesterday's hurdles.
It possesses glimpses of tomorrow's solitude.
Someday, today will breathe peace into our souls.

Remember, I am right here with you--holding your hand. Together we shall not just survive, but strive.