The Reasons For Effective Discipline for Our Children

A child needs discipline for several reasons. In addition to being necessary for his parents' peace of mind and convenience, discipline is also essential for the child's development. Through discipline, he learns the boundaries of socially acceptable behaviour. He learns how to get along well with other children and adults, and this is important because his happiness will depend partly on such an ability.

An undisciplined child who is 'king of his castle' will grow up to be rudely disappointed because not everyone outside his home is willing to full fill to his wishes. If he tries to impose his demands by throwing tantrums, bullying and disregarding any reprimands, he will soon realise that people dislike and shun his company. Coupled with the discovery that other children may not granted the same 'freedom' by their parents, he can be confused, insecure, perhaps even ashamed and guilty.

Discipline can also help the child develop a healthy sense of self-esteem. A child who is disciplined will tend to receive more social approval, which facilitates a positive regard of himself. On other hand, an undisciplined child who is avoided or scolded and generally disliked by others will also learn to dislike himself.

Furthermore, discipline fosters in the child self-control and a conscience. When child is young, he will require a lot external control methods to teach him a sense of right or wrong. With age and the experience of being disciplined, he can develop an 'inner voice' which will guide him in decision-making and direct his behaviour. A child who is allowed to behave as he pleases at home. Is deprived of opportunities to learn self-control, being able to accept not doing something he would like to do. Indeed, the ultimate purpose of discipline must be to encourage good behaviour in the child, from within himself.

While few will dispute the claim that a child needs discipline, the understanding of what discipline involves may differ. Many are accustomed to regarding discipline in a negative light or equivalent to punishment or restriction, with unquestioned obedience as the goal. However, discipline can be a positive experience for both the child and his parents, if it is tempered with understanding of and regard for the child. To be effective, discipline should not only focus on decreasing misbehaviours but must also emphasize the encouragement of good behaviours. The latter is often a form of preventive medicine for discipline problems.

Unfortunately, many parents tend to think of discipline as 'putting out the fires' instead of as trying to prevent the 'fires' in the first place. Effective discipline dos not aim at correction only but starts by including steps to prevent, as far as possible, discipline problem from arising.