The Republicans Are Joking, RIght?

Looking at the list of candidates that have either announced their intentions to run, or who have formed PACs to help them decide whether they'll run, you kind of have to laugh. It is starting to feel as if the 2012 election is going to be one big practical joke played on us by the Republicans. Either that or they have some super fantastic candidate waiting in the wings, but they want to rope-a-dope the Democrats and President Obama by parading out a cast of characters that would make a Bravo reality show cast look sane...which is ironic considering that two of potential candidates have been or are currently on a reality show.

Donald Trump and Sarah Palin. Both are said to be on the short list for the GOP. Across the country, comedians and satirists are holding their collective breath, waiting for confirmation of this perfect storm of comedic potential to come to fruition. Trump as already starting giving us plenty to work with. He's jumped onto the Birther Bandwagon and has a team of investigators in Hawaii trying to crack the "Obama Birth Certificate" caper. Meanwhile, Obama has sent a team of investigators to Manhattan to try and determine the scientific reason his skin tone and "hair" color are precise matches.

Then there's Palin. If her 2008 Vice-Presidential nomination wasn't enough of an affront on American society, she's rumored to be gearing up for a shot at the big chair. In 2008 we were worried about her being an irregular McCain heartbeat away from the Oval Office. The good news is that in 2012 her running mate will probably be a sock puppet or a stuffed moose she shot and killed herself, so there's some comfort that the VP would be just as capable and qualified to be the leader of the free world as she is.

Michele Bachmann, the congresswoman from Minnesota who can't quite seem to come off as anything but flustered and lost on television is a favorite amongst those in the Republican party that align themselves with the Tea Party. Bachmann and Palin will test just how far gender-politics have come in this country. If the two sexes are truly equal pundits will eat them alive. While I'm excited that there could be two female candidates running against an African-American incumbent, neither lady is exactly has the intellectual pedigree to really stand up to the scrutiny the press will place on them during their contributions. However, I'm sure we can expect some really great sound bytes out of them.

Newt Gingrich and Haley Barbour are solid candidates. That is of course assuming Doc Brown can take us in the DeLorean back about 20 years to when they were relevant to the Republican party. Both are former power-players within the GOP, but now have been set to the fringe, left mostly to just comment on Fox news about the direction of the country. I am admittedly intrigued to see if Gingrich sticks it out. The man has a more checkered sexual and martial resume than his old arch-nemesis Bill Clinton. It's so interesting to me that a man who can't quite stay faithful in his own heterosexual marriage thinks that people of the same sex shouldn't even be allowed the privilege.

Admittedly, there are a couple of candidates that may give President Obama a run for his money. Tim Pawlenty, though seemingly short on real substance, has a ton of charisma and speaks intelligently. If he can energize the base against the rest of his competitors, the nomination could easily swing his way. Pawlenty's problem is that he, like most of the GOP nominees likes to talk big when it comes to slashing the budget, but he was a party to a huge ramp-up in spending through the second Bush administration and through Obama's first term so far. So it's a credibility issue we're looking at there.

All in all, I have to think that a true contender will emerge for the GOP in the coming weeks or months. If not, the only conclusion that can be drawn is that either there's much more tension and division with the Republican party than is being admitted to, or that they are just giving up on 2012 in hopes of figuring out their issues by 2016. I'm sure we're all anticipating a blood bath once the current list of candidates starts openly gunning for the nomination; that's when the real fun should start.