The Restaurant and the Church

If you find yourself in Guatemala, heading towards the Pacific coast from Antigua, the first major town is Esquintla(pronounced es-skeent-la).

It's a small grimy city, with one McDonalds at the center of town and a lack of street signs. Entering from the outskirts are some well-marked freeway off ramps, one heading for Puerto Quetzal and points west to the Guatemalan-Mexican border. Otherwise, duck under the overpass and look for the sign on the right that advertises a well-known local watering hole: The Jet Set restaurant.

The signage will prominently display a well-endowed blonde in what appears to be a black vinyl swimsuit and there's a Mormon church next door and well protected behind rolls of shiny concertina wire.

There's a story here: the church wanted to buy the adjoining land for a parking lot but the deal included buying the restaurant. The elders didn't accept the idea of acquiring a bar, restaurant and a venue for a commercial rendezvous with those of the opposite sex, so the deal was nixed. What they did do what do erect a 'spite fence' on the restaurant's adjoining wall, blocking out any and all of the offensive references to the activities within.

The characters? Les and Liliana, of Mexico, Florida and points in between: they drive 'his' and 'her's matching Hummers, one black, the other white. The place rocks, especially on the weekends, when up to a thousand party-goers descend on the pool, the stage and the mountainous amounts of beer served. Per Les, it's not unusual for a hundred or so cases to be uncapped and their business is considered to be El Numero Uno by the local beer distributors.She's a heavy hitter in local politics and Les keeps an eye on the beauty pageants. It's an interesting division of responsiblities.

Entertainment? The best that money and nearby Mexico can offer: El Tigres Del Norte recently filled the place and El Tres Panchos came by: there are lingerie parties, and Miss Guatemala and her contemporaries recently held a beauty pageant there. It's not unheard of for local politico's and those of a national prominence to drop in and its been mentioned that the restaurant is a neutral meeting ground or 'hands' off venue for local narco bosses,who provide more security than the one shot-gun wielding guy in front. The waitresses are sweet and the menu is superb.

There's a "Love Hotel' right down the street, the Hey-Wey: supposedly spelled to mean Highway but in a pinch, it's close by. Oh, and the blonde's name: Dorotea, long gone but not forgotten.