The Retail Whine Over Consumer Christmas Spending

Christmas is three months away. That means we'll soon be hearing the first round of complaints from retailers whining about how slow sales are this year.

How do I know? Because it happens every year.

"It's going to be tough year," some Vice President will be quoted in the business section of your local newspaper. "Consumers are scared. They won't be spending like they have in years past. That's why we've decided to decorate our store for the Holiday season on October 1st. We have to be ready in case someone comes in looking for a gift. Every sale is precious."

indeed.

And every year consumers like you and me get accused of spending too little even as our credit card debt soars past what the financial planning experts say is healthy for our family budgets.

It all happens because the pack of greedy jerks on Wall Street have established an unbreakable habit of putting white hot pressure on national retail chains to increase their profits and please the bloody blankety-blank shareholders. Or else.

Who the heck are these shareholders? Why do they want to bury Christmas under a blanket of consumer guilt?

You know how it goes. The first few weeks of the unofficial Christmas season go peacefully by. Then you start thinking about all the nice things you could get for the spouse and kids. Pretty soon you find yourself stuffing presents in closets wondering how you'll pay for them come January, or maybe even June.

On Christmas Day the wrapping flies off and the kids squeal. Grandma and Grandpa recall how modest Christmas was in their childhood. You retire to the kitchen for a drink hoping (secretly) that a big commission check or Christmas bonus comes through to help with the wave of bills to come.

What? You're not expecting a Christmas bonus this year, much less a commission check? Well, don't let that stop you from spending your savings account this Christmas or the retailers will be whining up a storm. We must help them meet their sales projection or they'll threaten to close 100 or so stores nationwide. Then you'll have the guilt of lost jobs on your head through a bleak February across America.

But don't feel too bad. Those out-of-work retail clerks can join the expatriated bankers on a march to Washington where President Obama will be attempting to use his University of Chicago education to figure out how America got itself in this mess in the first place.

Just don't blame it on the retailers. They're under enough pressure already.