The RIF Diet
A 12-step Program for the Unemployed
- Get laid off.
- Go to bed empty. Wake up hungry.
- Weigh yourself in the morning and then eat something.
- Get into the art, science and play of gathering and preparing your food.
- Enjoy some raw food everyday, preferably plants or their fruit.
- If you like it, enjoy red meat, once a week at most.
- Get some exercise everyday, something that makes you sweat.
- Eat dinner at sundown.
- Notice that getting hungry once or twice a day won't kill you.
- Share some dark chocolate with someone you love.
- Skip the beer, cokes, chips, dips, shakes, snickers, burgers, fries, fried chicken, fried dough, butter, popcorn with butter, mystery meat, extra mayo, extra cheese, mac & cheese, muffins, cookies, croutons, ice cream, creamed corn, corn dogs, hot dogs, potatoes au gratin, mashed potatoes, potato skins with sour cream and bacon bits, fettuccine alfredo, and pizza. That stuff will fatten you up and then kill you.
- Go to bed empty. Wake up hungry.
Published by Yale Cohen
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