The Right Age when Children Are Ready for Chores

Chores- we all have them in one form or fashion. We have laundry to do, dishes to clean, and shoes to put away. Chores are a natural part of life. As our children grow up, we need to teach them about chores. When do we integrate chores for our children? When is it too much? Well, children should be exposed to chores sooner than later. Once our children are toddlers and expressing themselves by doing things for themselves, we need to find a way to incorporate chores into his or her routine.

Chores must be age appropriate. When looking at the daily routine of tasks around the house, it is always good to start out small. Toddlers love to learn. They love to mimic. They love to do things that will gain them praise and the feeling of accomplishment. A great way to start toddlers with chores is to have them start helping with the little things. Children love to get the mail. Toddlers are no exception. Yes, you will have to actually get the mail out of the mailbox, but the feeling of importance that comes from carrying the letters inside for mom or dad is priceless.

What about cleaning the bedroom? Most, if not all, children hate to clean their rooms. It's a fact of life. Many arguments throughout the history of families have been about picking up toys and clothes off of the floor of a bedroom. There are ways to make cleaning the bedroom a habit, rather than a chore. My toddler is almost 3 years old. She loves to empty her bag of blocks all over her room. She looks at the letters, makes castles and then knocks it all down. Of course, this makes a pretty big mess, but she and I work together before naptime and before bedtime to put her toys away so that if she gets up before she's really awake, her room will be safe for her. We make it into a game. Toddlers like games. We see who can pick up the most toys and put them away first. She usually wins. When it's time for bed and I'm tired from a hard day at work, she now reminds me that she can't go to bed unless all of her toys are up off the floor and put away where she belongs.

There are other regular chores around the house that toddlers can help out with. At every meal, the table needs to be set. Toddlers are great for bringing things to the table, such as the spoons and the napkins, anything that they can't hurt themselves with or break. After meals, toddlers can also help to clear the table. Because our children are helping us, they really love the feeling of importance that comes with taking on a big responsibility.

What's the best way to reward children for doing their chores? Again, it's age appropriate, but the way to incorporate chores into one's lifestyle without expecting sometime of reward is through positive reinforcement. Toddlers love to please. They love to know that they're helping out and that what they are doing is a wonderful thing. It's ok to give a treat reward every now and then, but if you give a treat reward all the time for chores, then children come to expect the reward. If you get into a situation like that, chores become a very negative part of the daily routine that can result into conflict and struggle. When offering rewards, it is most effective to praise for the good work rather than return with candy or money. Not only does the praise help build confidence, but because it is an intrinsic reward the payoff is a habit of integrating chores in the routine, making it easier on both parent and child.

Unfortunately, there is no defined age to start children on chores. Chores need to begin when the children are exhibiting the desire the help and the ability to physically do so. All children love to help. The key is showing them how helping with the chores at an early age so that there are less difficulties down the road.