The Right to Choose: Fathers and Abortions

The mere topic of abortion can be a very touchy subject for some. There is always a story in the news about abortion rights and laws being passed for and against abortion. Some feel that it is wrong while others feel that it should be a woman's right to choose. After all, the woman is the one who carries the baby and gives birth to it. Then again, if the woman does not want the baby, under current legislation, she can choose to have an abortion as long as it is not a late term partial birth abortion which was recently banned by the Supreme Court. Regardless of whether you're pro-life or pro-choice, one question that seldom arises is the father's right, if any. Does a father have a say in whether the mother can abort his child or does he just have to go along with it?

Recently a friend discussed the dilemma her brother was facing. His girlfriend is currently pregnant with his child but she is not ready to have children. She would like to finish college and be settled in a career before she starts having children. For this reason, she is looking to get an abortion. The father is against her having an abortion. He wants his baby to be born and he feels he should have a say in the fate of his child. Maybe you are saying that the two of them should have discussed their stances on abortion before becoming involved in a serious relationship. This is a very important topic worthy of discussion with one's significant other. So what is this doing to their relationship? Even though they love each other this issue is tearing their relationship apart. The father in this case has hired a lawyer to try to stop any proceedings the mother will take towards aborting their baby.

Some people think a man has no say in whether or not a woman has an abortion. To them it is the woman's body and it is her choice and her choice alone. But is this the right way to look at such situations? After all, the woman did not create this baby by herself. And in the event that a woman chooses to have a baby, if she is in a committed relationship she doesn't expect to have to raise the baby alone. She will expect the father to be there to help her raise the child. She will expect him to be there with her throughout the pregnancy and even in the delivery room. When it comes to making important decisions in the child's life, both parents will be responsible for making such decisions, not just the mother.

So when do a father's rights as a parent begin? Do they begin after the baby is born? Does he not have any rights to a child he helped create before it is birthed into the world? Sure it is a woman's body that carries and births the baby, as a man is not capable of doing either of these things. But the process of creating a life is something neither man nor woman can do alone. Since this is the case, it would seem that the process of making important decisions that affect the life of their child whether born or unborn, should be a decision that both parents make together.

There are many unplanned pregnancies in the world. In the case of this particular couple, the mother does not want to have the baby because she feels she is not ready to put her life on hold to take care of it. Perhaps she feels that if she has this baby she will not be able to complete college and start the career of her choosing; at least not in the timeframe she had planned. However, although this pregnancy was unexpected for the father also, he is ready and willing to make any necessary changes in his life so that he is able to care for his child. He is not asking the mother to have the baby and give the baby up for adoption to a strange couple they don't even know. He is pleading for his right to be a father to a child he helped to create. In his case, he is willing to raise the child so the mother will still be able to complete her education and get settled in to her career. He doesn't wish to deny her of her rights as a mother if she chose to exercise those rights but he feels as though she is making a selfish decision that will deny him his rights as a father.

Cases like this may not be common but they do happen. In some cases, the mother proceeds with the abortion before the father has a chance to do anything and in those cases he is just at a loss. Since abortions are legal, the mother cannot be prosecuted for having one. And in these sorts of cases, most of the fathers aren't seeking any legal action against the mother. All they want is the opportunity to raise a child that is theirs. With the high rate of single parent homes headed by mothers because some fathers wanted nothing to do with their children, cases like these seem commendable. Here you have a father who is ready and willing to step up to the plate and accept responsibility for his actions, even if they were unplanned.

Yes it is true that men can't have babies but it is also true that neither gender can create a life without equal input from one another. So what do you do when one parent wants the baby but the other does not? Taking legal action is one option which has been successful in some cases. But for the mother who wants to have an abortion, she may feel like she is being forced to have a baby she does not want even though she helped to create it. Sure after the baby is born she can leave the child to be raised by the father but perhaps the motherly bond she formed with the child during the duration of her pregnancy leaves her unable to just give up her rights to her child and ends up in both of them parenting the child. As for the relationship between the parents, this puts a tremendous amount of strain on each of them which is sometimes irreparable. So you may have two people who resent each other and a child between the two of them to raise.

It's known that situations such as these may be reversed and the mother may want to have the baby but the father wants her to have an abortion. In these cases what the mother wants will most likely prevail because no court is going to force a woman to abort her baby if she chooses not to. Unfortunately, in some extreme and drastic cases, fathers have been known to kill the pregnant mother and the unborn baby. This is definitely not the way to go. People who are in a relationship should discuss their views on abortion, having children, and what they might do in the case of an unplanned pregnancy. A father is an equal parent which automatically gives him rights to his child. He doesn't have a right to force the mother to have an abortion so does a woman's right to choose mean that she can abort the baby even if the father wants it?