The Right Time for Sex?

In fairy tales the prince and princess always rode off into the sunset after slaying the dragon, trying on a glass slipper or after a long awaited kiss--and then just like that--they leave us hanging to make up the rest--what then? Do they continue their whimsical love affair after the elves pack up and move out or when the singing mice leave to participate in a rodent-exchange program? Either way, it's happily ever after for them but for us--once the romance begins we hit the first bump in the road--when is it the right time to have sex?

I wanted to get the HOT TWITTER MEN OF DATING to participate because I wanted a man's point of view on sex. These three guys are rock stars and if you're not already reading their blogs--what are you waiting for? In no particular order, this is whatMike Masters (tells it like it is), Jack from Brooklyn (master of seduction) andFishy (fun, hilarious approach to his dating mishaps) had to say about sex and its timing in a new relationship.

Wise words from Mike the Master Dater: When I was in 18 and in college, my welding teacher took me home and fucked my brains out. She was 30, a bit butch, but had a gorgeous muscular surfer body. We never dated, she just one day invited me over to her art studio and violated me so deliciously that I tried to see her again everyday for a week. This was sex for sex's sake and it was fantastic.

Since I write for women I often tell them to be cautious, but personally I never ever follow this rule. Strong, powerful, wonderful sex is something that should be able to stand alone without any lingering expectations. Sex does not have to be calculated, it doesn't have to damaging it can just simply be enjoyed for what it is. When expectation from either sex are forced in, it mars the beauty of "what is" and effectively blocks "what could be."

Sex thoughts by Jack from Brooklyn: ANYtime works for me. I kid. But not really. When to have sex for the first time is a tricky question and the answer, while seemingly evasive, is equally tricky: it depends. Some (but not all) of the many factors that go into this equation are: How long have you known this person? Are you looking for a serious relationship or a fling? Are you both emotionally mature enough to deal with the consequences of entering a sexual relationship? Do you feel safe, desired, respected, and will you continue to, post coitus? This complex set of variables forms a unique fingerprint for every couple; hard, fast rules don't apply. The answer in my mind is: feel the flow of energy, and go with it. This might mean first date sex, or it may mean creating anticipation and savoring each sensual moment leading up to the actual act. The best sex is based on connection, and however long it takes to determine that, be it hours, days, or weeks, is worth the wait.

And last but not least, my new favorite dating blogger, Fishy, who makes dating fun again (and the guy is just so hilarious!):Personally, I never have sex on a first date. That would mean exposing my carnal inadequacies (and small nipples) before she's made up her mind about me. No, far better to wait until the fourth or fifth date - by which time she'll be so smitten with my boyish charm that she won't care that I can only last 10 minutes in missionary. A woman also has to think about how she comes across. No man is going to consider a girl who throws her knickers against the wall on a first date to be a 'keeper'. So, if you're after more than a quick bit of rumpy pumpy ladies, keep your front bum under lock and key until he's either: a/ cooked you a meal; b/ introduced you to his friends; or c/ phoned you for a chat for no apparent reason (not including drunken calls).

And what do I think? For me, it's all about timing--your internal-sex-clock's timing. Sometimes you wanna have sex after meeting them and for one reason or another you don't; then you never hear from them again and you're like--damn it, why didn't I? (Not because you think having had sex would have made them call--but because it's what your body was telling you to do) Other times you have sex just for the act of it. Men are like that, sorry ladies; it's true. And then other times, those special times--those memory-making times occur and the butterflies in your tummy take over and over-power the horniess because those feelings of amazement and wonderment set in--and it's then, in that time and place that you decide you want to take your time and court the person because when you do finally experience "love making" with them--it's an inter-twining of souls, bodies and minds that create an experience to remember. And the outcome doesn't matter--does he call again, do we see each other again--because it was a moment in your lifetime when your internal sex-clock was ringing and now...you're able to hit snooze.

What do you think? When is it the right time to have sex? Leave a comment.