The Right-Wing's Assault on Women

Those who align themselves on the far right side of the aisle when it comes to social and economic issues are some of the loudest voices in terms of protecting the lives of unborn children when the uber-tame topic of abortion comes up. They scream from the top of their lungs that life starts at conception and therefore abortion is a crime not just against humanity but against God himself. Anyone who helps assist in the performing of abortions is therefore a criminal.

So it stands to reason that an organization like Planned Parenthood would become a target for the right-wing. In their eyes all Planned Parenthood does is comb the streets for women who are freshly knocked-up, brow-beat them into stepping into their clinics, and then brainwash them into aborting their babies. Nothing will set an anti-abortion zealot off like mentioning Planned Parenthood. Try it sometime, it's fantastic!

It seems like as soon as Republicans gain a majority in Congress one of their first targets is Planned Parenthood. I can remember being a teenager when the "Contract With America" era Republicans took power, and outside of the ACLU, Planned Parenthood was the biggest target. While it's important to protect the civil liberties of unborn babies, it's not important to protect those of the rest of us. I was once a Conservative myself, so I feel like I have insider knowledge on what makes Conservatives go nuts.

So I'm not surprised in the least that this new generation of Republicans in Congress has once again threatened to cut funding to Planned Parenthood. In their minds Planned Parenthood is your one-stop shop for Condoms for Teenagers. If they can't figure out how to use the condoms properly, Abortions for All!

Forget that Planned Parenthood also serves as a great resource for sexual and reproductive health education and counseling. Just disregard the fact that Planned Parenthood clinics provide vital health services for teenage mothers and women who can't afford it. Who cares that Planned Parenthood helps to promote safe sex, which is the only way to reduce the impact of sexually transmitted diseases like HIV, genital warts and herpes.

To congressional Republicans none of that matters. All that matters to them is that Planned Parenthood also assists women in receiving abortions. They've already tried to change the definition of rape, and now they want to make it virtually impossible to get an abortion, even if the life of the mother is at stake. So the conclusion? Republicans hate vaginae.

Let's not take care of the vaginae. Let's just treat the vaginae as they were intended to: baby factories. It doesn't matter if a woman is raped and impregnated by her assailant. That baby is a bi-product of Vaginal Commerce and is therefore a protected commodity.

But let's not get ahead of ourselves. Let's not pay taxes to keep those baby factories running cleanly and efficiently. Let's not pay taxes to help educate poor and underprivileged teenage girls on how to keep from producing babies until they're ready, thereby increasing the chances of a healthy, loved and wanted baby being born into the world. Let's not encourage zero population growth, we'll just cut down a few more forests and build more strip-malls to meet the growing demands.

While we're at it, let's fire Elmo and Big Bird. Why should we as taxpayers fund television programming that educates those un-aborted fetuses? Why is it our job to make sure that the generations behind us stay intelligent, driven and productive? All we care about is that no one sticks a hose up their mother's vaginae and sucks them out. Once they're born, it's up to the parents to feed them, teach them, put clothes and their backs and provide everything they need, no matter what their means.

Oh, and let's cut funding all together for assistance programs. No more assisted medical care. No more food stamps. I'm sure we won't need them once abortion is outlawed and every baby is legally required to be born. I definitely don't see a need to have the government assistance programs help out all the exponentially growing families. Besides, we're cutting taxes everywhere, so people will have more money to spend on diapers, formula and food for their older kids, right?

I'm sure orphanages won't explode at their seams with more children being dumped at their doorsteps either. Once we push Planned Parenthood out of existence, nothing will change. STD rates amongst teens won't shoot back up, nor will teen pregnancy. While we're at it, let's stop teaching sexual and health education in schools. It only leads to more sex, which could lead to more potential abortions.

You see? All of the amorality and depravity that's rampant in society today is related to Planned Parenthood. So if you knock-out the lynch pin, everything else follows suit. It's only a matter of time until we have the society God Almighty wants for us...a population of uneducated, diseased and unwanted people, reproducing non-stop, perpetuating the cycle of futility.