The Roller Coaster Years:

Are you pretty sure that you know your children well?
Probably so, after all you're the one that raised them so why wouldn't you know your own child? Do you have a 12 year old in your home? If you do, then buckle up!
Because you are in for the wildest ride of your life! Right now that 12 year old is mentally packing his bags. Most aren't aware of this of course. Life is pretty much going on with the same routine. Sure there have been a few physical changes here and there but that's still the same kid you always knew ... right? Wrong! Just under the surface those hormones are changing! Right about the time you think those teen years aren't going to be such a big deal, WHAM you have 13 year old begging to get a belly button pierced or hollering loud and clear about individuality, and rights!
What happened to your baby! Relax. They are just starting a the final leg of their journey to adulthood. Is it scary? You bet! Especially for them! All of a sudden
their body doesn't fit, their voices pitch and change, peers scrutinize their every move and they are torn in trying to do what you want, pleasing their friends, and finding out what they want for themselves. Talk about confusion!

There are a few things you need to know to survive right off that bat.

1. Your teen doesn't hate you. However there may be times when
they don't like you much. But that's OK. I guarantee there will be a few times you don't like them either. Love remains and that's what is important anyway

2. Teens need guidance now more then ever. Remember, guidance is not complete control. Now is when you let them go just a bit to see how well they put what you've taught them all these years into practice. If you are still trying to run every aspect of their lives, resentment builds and communication disappears

3. Communication is vital between a parent and a teen. There are important issues to be discussed. Drugs, life choices, driving, jobs and more. Teens that know parents really care and are there for them to talk, are less likely to experiment with things that could hurt them. The trick is to talk when a teen is just hanging out with you. So do things together. Share a hobby, take an interest in what they like and ask questions. Just basic conversations seem to turn to quality talk with teens. Sitting them down for "a talk" usually falls on deaf ears

4. Be flexible. Be willing to bend but don't break on issues important to you. Try to work out compromises that are good for parent and teen. Remember though you are the parent and you need to make choices sometimes that won't be popular. Stick to your guns. Teens might not admit it but they respect that. Besides
it's OK to be your teens friend but they need a parent first.

5. Don't get so intent to win the war that you get bumped off in the battle. In other words admit when you've made a mistake. Actually don't even look at this as a war. That's what media and hype tell us. That's not true. It's really just getting to know your child as the new wonderful adult he is on his way to being. You aren't perfect. You will make mistakes. This is a whole new parenting ball game. If you strike out just say you're sorry and keep on batting.

6. If your teen makes some mistakes, forgive. Try new strategies
to change the situation. Get together with other parents of teens for
support. If your teen does end up making some unwise choices and it has gotten to be bigger than the two of you, get help. Go to counseling. Find a program that helps with that specific situation. Get past the laying of blame on yourself or teen and
deal with the problem from that point on.

7. One final thing is during your wild ride, remember there are a lot of calm moments before those hills. Having a teen can be fun too! Don't despair over fads and far out opinions. Those are likely to change over time. Teens try on beliefs and opinions sometimes just as much as they change hair styles and clothes. Most of the time they all end up being the responsible, caring, person you knew they always were!