The Safest and Least Stressful Ways to Travel with Your Children

Nothing is more stress-inducing on the road than a bunch of squabbling, noisy children in the backseat. You're constantly watching your visor and rear-view mirror to keep an eye on your youngsters to make sure things are going smoothly, and it seems every five minutes your turning around and reaching back there to divvy out toys, snacks and discipline. To keep your eyes on the road and to maintain a quiet car (as much as possible) follow these essential tips for safer, less distractive driving.

Prior to piling all the kids in the car, make sure they've used the bathroom. Sure enough, your younger ones will tell you they don't have to go and then be hollering that they have to pee RIGHT NOW five minutes out of the driveway. Make sure they sit on the potty before getting in the car so they can make it to the first rest stop.

Situate your children according to age and their ability to get along. If you have children who constantly pick at each other, don't sit them next to one another unless you want to hear "He's staring at me! She's touching me!" the whole drive. If you can, place older kids with their younger siblings to help mediate any problems and keep calm (ha ha) in the vehicle. Make sure seat belts are all buckled (including grownups) before you even start the car.

Warn the children before you leave of the consequences of fighting, yelling, squabbling and whining before you leave. Let them know if they distract you on the road, you WILL stop the car and give time-outs or take privileges away. Warning them in advance rather than while on the road when they are being naughty will let them know you mean business. They will still fight, but at least they'll know what will happen when they do beforehand.

Divvy out snacks and drinks before you leave the driveway, or only divvy them out at rest stops. This prevents you from constantly reaching back to hand over a bag of chips or cookies and beverages, which distracts you from the road. Don't supply straws (use sippy cups if necessary) because if you have to stop suddenly a young'un can jab a straw in the back of their throat. Also, don't supply hard candies (like jolly ranchers and Gobstoppers) for the same reason as a sudden stop or brake can make them choke. Hand out individual baggies of snacks and supply water only (they won't have to pee as much and won't make the car so sticky, plus water won't make them hyper) so each kid has their own snack and they won't be scrabbling over a big bag of chips like a pack of wolves on a carcass.

Don't use cruise control while driving. Since a lot of your attention will be on the mirrors to check your children's condition, you should drive without cruise control on to make you pay better attention to the road. If you have your cruise on and you're rummaging around behind you to toss back a snack, you need to be controlling your speed. For that matter, with kids in the car drive at least 5 mph less than normal to give you better alertness and response to those road demons out there and the distractions you WILL have in the car.

Have a barf bag and motion sickness pills handy. For carsick kids, have them take motion sickness meds prior to hitting the road, and provide a barf bag just in case, as it can be used also to help maintain garbage. Have one for each row of seats in the car.

Leave pointy toys and jewelry at home. Your 6 year old will soon use her novelty pearl necklace as a whip to attack her brother in the seat in front of her, and he will in turn attack her with his toy car. If you need to bring toys, bring along stuffed animals, books and coloring books, and DVD players and iPods.

To avoid "Are we there yet?" as much as possible, let your young children know how long you will be on the road in terms they understand, such as "It will take as long as your bath time", or "It takes as long as watching Shrek". They won't understand completely, but it helps curb the annoying inquiries.

Stop at every rest area and get the kids out to stretch and rearrange their pillows and blankets and toss out garbage. Have them pee if you can, and refill water bottles if necessary. When you get back in the car, reaffirm the destination time in terms they understand and alert them to the next stopping point.

When the kids squabble, warn them you WILL stop the car. If they continue whining, pull over if it's safe and address the situation. Solving fights while driving agitates the situation and can make it worse, while stopping the vehicle makes the kids realize you are serious about the situation and can allow you to fully temper down what's going on. You may have to rearrange kids or take away some toys, and you can't do that while driving.

Go ahead and turn up the volume on the radio if the squabbling gets too loud. Most kids will quiet down when they are being drowned out or ignored by the grownups when they're fighting. Don't make the volume so loud you have to shout to your front seat passenger to be heard, just have it loud enough to provide proper distraction to keep you focused on the road.

Distract the kids with car games, such as spotting out-of-state license plates, or funny-colored cars. Avoid slug-bug hitting games and competitive games (like who can make the semi honk) to avoid fighting. This allows you to interact with the kids and distract them from their own traveling discomfort, plus it's fun for everybody.

Leave the kids in the car when you stop for gas, unless they need a restroom break. Then make it very clear they are stopping just to pee, not dilly dally around the store. Don't let them wander around picking out snacks they can't have-just get them to the potty and back out to the car. If they claim they have to pee then just wander about the store, send them back to the car without a potty break. They can catch the next one or bee behind a bush on the side of the road. They'll learn real fast not to dink around.

The most important thing while driving is to maintain your own calm as much as possible. If you need to take a break, stop the car and take a breather. Try not to yell (as much as possible) and don't get sucked into your own kid's frustrations and agitations, as this will make everything worse. Make sure you have your own seat belt on (as an example to the kids and your own safety) and try to enjoy the ride as much as possible. Realize the kids WILL fight and become fidgety, and do your best to refrain from throwing a temper tantrum of your own and you should get to your destination without ripping out all your hair.