The Samaria Gorge, Crete, Greece

One of the most popular tourist destinations in Western Crete, the Samaria Gorge is a wonder of nature. 16 kilometers long, it is filled with dizzying rock formations. The easiest way to organize your hike is to book a trip through a travel agent. They will pick you up near your hotel and at the drop off point after the boat ride and deliver you back to your starting place. Not all that much harder (and a little bit cheaper) is to take one of the KTEL busses to the top and from the bottom. When buying your ticket, you will get a round trip for around $14. Greece's currency is the Euro, but I've exchanged it and rounded off to dollars. The gorge entrance is around $6, and the boat ride is around $10. If you plan to eat before or after your trip (and you'll want to even if you don't plan to) take another $10 or $15. Enjoy your hike, take pictures and rest along the way. The first two kilometers are down, down, down. I've never been so happy to step upward in all my life as I was after that first hour. The walk throughout the gorge is beautiful, there's forest, there's rock formations and there are plants that grow no where else in the world. There are rumors that kri-kri (native wild goat of Crete) are there, but I didn't see any. If decide to walk the Samaria Gorge, go prepared. Much can be found in the many guides to Crete and the gorge. Also read the tips below to make your walk a little more enjoyable, culled from experienced gorge walkers (me and my hiking buddy, Fred.)

For ease of use, one might say that the problem with the Samaria Gorge is that it starts in one place and ends in another. To complicate matters further, the end point is only accessible by boat or by foot through the gorge. Unless you are a true glutton for punishment, after coming through the gorge nothing short of machine gun fire will persuade you to turn around and go back. So, boat it is.

Item 1: If the schedule says there are two boats, one at 3:45 and one at 6:45, believe it. Don't rush at a breakneck speed through the gorge hoping for an early boat. If you don't heed this bit of advice, you will spend nearly 3 hours on a beach wishing you'd brought your bathing suit until the first boat leaves at 3:45.

Estimates of in-gorge transit time vary. My friend and I walked at a good clip, with a few five minute pauses along the way, and from start to finish we took 3 hours 45 minutes. For this purpose, I define start as the place where you begin walking and finish as the place where you no longer have to walk (some kilometers beyond the end of the gorge). Sometimes it felt like we were racing. If you are wondering why we were in such a hurry, see item 1. Learn from our mistake.

Item 2: When you read dubious (or credible) accounts that some people have completed the gorge in 2 hours, don't apply this to yourself, figuring that surely you'll be able to do it in 3 1/2. Do not believe any account which says the gorge can be completed in less than 4 hours. It can, but it's not a bit of fun. You miss everything you came to see and might hurt yourself in the process. To readers who have, indeed, completed the gorge in 2 hours and feel compelled to share their stories: I don't correspond with masochists.

Many guides tell you to wear sturdy shoes. Despite this very sound advice, I saw many co-walkers wearing hiking sandals. I wore sneakers. Side note about the shoes - make sure you wear something with good tread, there are many downward sloping smooth rocks which make slipping just short of inevitable for anyone but a mountain goat. Those silly looking modern hiking sticks aren't necessary, but they won't get you laughed at as you securely cruise past gravity's latest victim.

Item 3: If you, being an experienced hiker, insist on wearing shoes which leave bits of your feet exposed, don't be surprised if passing hikers who have some sense in their heads poke your bottom while you're digging out the latest pebble, twig, or other unknown natural tidbit. Ha Ha.

Hiking the gorge should be considered an all day affair. It's also extremely physical and rather rustic. In other words, you'll be in nature. Real nature. Prepare well. I'm sure Euell Gibbons could find something to eat in the gorge, but the closest I came was a fig tree with defective fruit. There was a little girl with an apple and an energy bar, but she was too fast. At the end of the gorge, I could have eaten a horse, but hunger left me too weak to catch one. I settled for a wonderful grilled fish, loaf of bread, and Greek salad at one of the tavernas. It wasn't too pricey, especially considering they've got you trapped. There is no pharmacy at the finish point, but the waiters were nice enough to bring me some painkillers.

Item 4: If you think that by bringing a liter of water and a band-aid with you, you're 'all set,' you'll be disappointed. Bring sunglasses and sunscreen. Eating breakfast before you leave the house means you'll be without food for 6 to 8 hours, depending on travel time. Be smart - bring your breakfast and a couple of snacks, too. 'Hiking food,' if you will. If you don't want to carry the weight, eat breakfast at the top of the gorge. There is a small restaurant or shop which serve food there. Then you're only facing 4 or so hours without food, and that's manageable. Do bring water, a few band-aids, painkillers, and something to eat. You'll probably use them all.

There are a few rustic WC's along the way. Not so many that you should skip one in hopes of something better coming along. First, there's a good distance between 'rest stops.' Second, and more importantly, there is nothing better coming along. Trust me, what you see is as good as it gets. My male friend used one, then mostly used the bushes. I held it for all 4 hours.

Item 5: Bring toilet paper. If you can't hold it (you'll wish you could) and you're wearing long trousers remember this method. Actually, practice this method before you go - the price of failure is enduring the rest of the hike with urine and other unknown substances on your pants. Method: roll ankles of pants up to your knees. Unbutton top and 'scrunch' the top down to the rolled up ankles at the sides, holding the material near your knees while you squat. When you stand, don't unroll your pants legs until you've left the privy. Oh, the joys of nature! Don't forget the toilet paper! And some wet wipes.

Last but not least, rocks do fall in the gorge. In 2006, one person was killed after being struck on the head by a falling rock.

Item 6: Don't yell even though the echo would be spectacular: think about a hard hat.

I do hope these tips will make a satisfied gorge walker out of you. There are many gorges to choose from on Crete, but the Samaria is the one everyone does at least once. Join the crowd, but heed my tips and leave them in your dust, jaws agape in awe of your savvy.