The Same Daily Routine: Love Change or Hate It?

Most of us, when we were young, feared growing up only to become old and predictable. To think of doing the same things every day- going to the same job, seeing the same people, falling in line with the daily grind seemed to be a terrible fate. Yet, many people find that they are predictable, and are happy with a daily routine that changes very little. Others, however, hate it. You probably fall into one of those two categories- you either love change or hate it.

We all remember the television shows of our youth, and the dad in the sitcom went to work, came home, and sat in the same chair by the same woman all of his life. He said the same things so often that his wife could usually finish his sentences for him. We also saw shows where the main character was a rebel, lived by his own rules, and rode off into the sunset with a different girl on the back of his motorcycle. Usually our dreams fell somewhere in the middle of these two extremes, but some of us are living the stereotypes we most feared.

So how do you handle change? Are you one of those people who get bored easily, always want to go new places and try new things and meet new people? Or are you a person who finds comfort in a daily routine, planning your day hour by hour, and surrounding yourself with the same friends, family, and co-workers, and like it that way? Most people fall somewhere in the middle- we like to shake things up a bit from time to time, but also feel more grounded in our lives with a routine.

We all know a super-mom who has her routine worked out to the minute. She carries a planner with her everywhere, keeps every appointment in it and also on the calendar on her refrigerator. She knows exactly where she will be on Tuesday at four o'clock, driving Susie to ballet and Ben to soccer practice and then picking up the dry cleaning and dinner on the way home. Some planning is necessary, especially if you have other people's schedules to juggle in addition to your own. Then there is the woman who gets up every day at the same time, showers, dresses, grabs a quick breakfast, stops for coffee on the way to the office, checks her email, sorts her agenda for the day-well, you get the picture. The problem comes in when you schedule time for everyone but yourself.

Do you change jobs often? Do you go from one relationship to the next, not really knowing what went wrong but being glad to be out of one relationship and into the next one? Do you move often? Do you go out of your way to meet new people and travel to new places? Do you like living on the edge? Are you thrill-seeking? Spontaneous? Adventurous? You may recognize yourself in some of these areas as being a lover of change. But being too much enamored with change can also lead to instability in your life, your work, your relationships, and still not leave you fulfilled.

Experts agree that for many, living life with a daily routine is quite comforting. People who have had traumatic experiences in their lives, such as survivors of abuse or war, find that having an order to their lives makes them feel safer in their world. Many therapists help people to develop a daily routine that nourishes their own spirit, gives them the comfort they need, and helps them find peace in a hectic world. A good therapist will also help us to learn to steady ourselves so that when change does occur, as it always will, we can face it without rattling our world too badly.

Recognizing where you fall on the spectrum can tell you a lot about yourself. It can explain why your husband is so happy about moving and changing jobs, while you feel the rug has been jerked out from under your feet. People are very different, and partners in a relationship can be opposites in this area. Finding a balance that works for both of you is best, which allows you to have security and allows your partner to change things often enough to be happy.

Some people crave change so much that they create crises in their life just to keep from being bored, although they may not even realize they are doing it. If your partner seems to want to pick a fight over everything, he or she may be a change-junkie and just need the highs felt during a crisis of some kind.

I tend to fall somewhere nearer the side of the spectrum that likes order and stability. I like the occasional spontaneous weekend travel plan, but feel most comfortable with a fairly rigid structure in my life. Even without realizing it consciously, my life tends to align itself with a certain pace that is methodical, getting up at the same time, going to bed at the same time, and knowing what my day will hold before it happens. Not many things catch me by surprise, and I like it that way. I don't need a minute by minute plan handwritten and followed to the letter, but I do need to have a general idea what I will be doing, or where I will be, or who I will be with. When my world gets off kilter due to unforeseen circumstances, I weather the storm and then slowly fall back into a rhythm in my life that works for me.

Learning how you handle change and routine can tell you much about yourself. Accept yourself for who you are, and learn to bend in the areas that would bring you fulfillment. Take time for yourself every day, to do something you enjoy, even though it's not in the schedule. Don't run your life into the ditch and get burned out with your job, your love life, or your kid's schedules. Each of us needs some time to sit quietly and do nothing every day, even if it's only for a brief time. We don't always have to be DOING something. We don't have to be performance monkeys for everyone, and forget to enjoy our life in the process. So what about you--do you like change or hate it?