The Scars of a Dysfunctional Marriage

The ending of a marriage is never a happy event; however, an abusive marriage usually ends with a sigh of relief. I drew such a sigh when my own marriage ended.

Starting over in the aftermath of any divorce is difficult. However, when you add mental, emotional and/or physical abuse to the mix, the becomes even more so. Even after such a marriage has ended, the scars remaining can be permanent and remain with us for the rest of our days. This is because on begins to believe in one's own worthlessness after having constantly reinforced to them, by their abuser, day after day.

While physical scars are openly obvious, emotional scars may not rise to the surface until years afterward. I have been divorced for nearly twenty-one years and I still discover scars, left by my own dysfunctional marriage. These scars have aided my own recovery and have made me stronger; they help me to reflect on past events and see them, now, in a better perspective than I would have at the time.

A scar is what remains after a wound or injury heals; it can be very sensitive and tender in the beginning. With the passage of time, one finds that it has healed and only the scar remains. It can be noted that scar tissue does become tougher than other skin tissue. This is the case with a physical scar and so it is with all scars. Scars are, in fact, proof of survival and, though it is present, we have survived. Once we come to this realization and consider what we have lived through, we begin to know that there is little that we can't survive. Survival become the goal in a dysfunctional marriage and should never be sacrificed for the sake of our pride. If you are being abused by your spouse of signifigant other, get out as quickly as you can. Only then, will you be free to experience the miracle of recovery and healing. In the end, escape from and survival of a dysfuntional marriage and/or relationship is nothing short of a miracle.