The School Bully: A Parenting Issue

Bullying is not a new problem, yet it is a constant one and growing more dangerous every passing year. What was once schoolyard teasing has reached the heights of children being beaten to death and retaliation in the form of school killings. This begins with what the public school administrations consider harmless teasing and schoolyard horseplay. Although, harmless play does not usually end up a feature on the evening news.

Smaller children, lower income children and more intelligent introverts often times fall victim to the bully, but anyone can become the target. Children who wish to belong or are far to eager to make friends most often find themselves in abusive bulling type relationships. The effects of a child being bullied can carry throughout their entire life and in some cases result in suicide or violent out bursts. Should the administration in the school then be excused for the lack of concern or attention they give this problem?

It is much easier for the teachers and the administrators to blame the victim of bullying and sweep it under the rug. A parent on many occasions will be treated as if they are over reacting to the situation if their child is being bullied dismissed with the every popular line, "We handled the situation and will let you know if there is a problem again."

Parents should not trust this. Apathetic members of the school faculty and administration are the reason that so many children fall victim to such attacks.

If your child comes home and expresses he or she feels that they have been or are being bullied then discussing scenario and making that judgment on your own in the first step. There are often times isolated incidents that occur between students and the problem quickly resolves itself. If there is no real altercation or case of bullying then it makes sense to let the children try and work it out themselves, with advice from their parents. In the resolving of an isolated incident there is more chance of a friendship being established than any real negative outcome.

However, if your child complains of another student, hitting, pushing, calling names or stealing from him or her on a constant basis there may be a need to have a conversation with your child's teacher. Most teachers are receptive to discussing their student's academic and social standing in their classrooms. It is important for the parents to voice their concerns and take the initiative in making a meeting with the teacher or the situation could go on for a number of days, months or even years. The earlier a bully is caught the better because it leaves room for improvement and helping the bully to become less aggressive and more constructive with his or her time.

If the bulling continues a meeting should be made with the school administrators. They are there to deal with these situations, no matter what they say to the contrary. As a parent you must stand strong because the most common school administrator's reaction to a concerned parent is, "I was unaware of this. Are you sure your child isn't just overreacting?"

Frustrating yes, but still true. They don't want to deal with the situations because quite honestly in this day and age a school is run more like a business and less like an educational facility, so the children get lost in the shuffle. It is up to the parent(s) to fight for their children and really be present and involved with any situation that may arise, no matter how small it seems. The abundance of school violence should be proof enough that changes have to be made concerning the treatment of students and the responsibility the schools do not take for such incidents. Bullying ends when the bully knows he or she can no longer get away with it, and that there are consequences to the actions, and these consequences come when the parents push for them.