The Seasons of Relationships

Sunny skies, sandy beaches
Strawberries, juicy peaches
Children playing, lips kissing
Will you walk with me?

Cooler breezes, shorter days
Bag lunches, school daze
Busy working, seldom talking
Will you walk with me?

Icy winds, hard ground
Food scarce, head down
Baby crying, not touching
Will you walk with me?

Grass green, winds gentle
Plentiful table, hope rekindled
Hands clasping, heart knowing
Yes, you'll walk with me.

Relationships go through seasons. Much like the newness of Spring, there's that I-can't-get-enough-of-you phase. The two of you meet. It's electric. There's something about him that catches your attention. You try to go about what you're doing but you can't help but look up from time-to-time. Your face gets flushed from the energy of his gaze. It's on, now - AND POPPIN!

You start discovering compatibilities and even differences of opinion are sexy. Your intrigue with one another brings you to Summer. That season where you decide to date exclusively or, devoid of label, you simply are into one another. I has become we. Me has become us. He starts checking with you before saying yes to things. Her girlfriends start saying "I know, I know, you and what's his name got plans!" Don't hate.

Then there is the hummmm-I'm-starting-to-see-your-flaws phase. This season I'll call Fall. You're still turned on by her - no doubt - but you snarl or cuss under your breath when you trip over yet another pair of shoes. Or it takes him longer in the bathroom than it does you. Dang! Isn't it amazing how the very things that drew us to a person can frustrate the heck out of us after a while! Okay, okay, I digress.

The BITE of Winter. This is the season of sobering reality. Overtime. Got to bring work home. Got the kids for the weekend. No child support check this week. He's too busy. She's taking you for granted. Dinner and dancing is over. It's all about Sports Center and him laying on the couch with your remote control. She starts rearranging your stuff. You want him to listen but he's telling you what the problem is. You want her to stop critiquing your life, your choices, your friends. Can a brother get a break? Can a sister get some attention? And as if things aren't bad enough, your EX is calling you!

Long talks interlaced with passionate kisses have now turned into complaints about family, work, kids...ARGHHHH! Ultimatums. Games. He calls but she doesn't want to talk about it. She calls but he won't pick up because SHE said SHE didn't want to talk about it. This is the romance-interrupted-intrusion-of-life season. It's baggage, habits, values, beliefs, character, lifestyle. Are we compatible? Do we have something more than physical attraction? Talk about a tough Winter, Brrrrrrrr. I need space. Maybe we need to see other people.

On the movie, "Why Did I Get Married," the character played by Janet Jackson encouraged her girlfriends to take out a piece of paper. Write in one column all the things you don't like about your man. In the other, write all the things you do. If what you like outnumbers what you don't, then "you gotta fix this," she urges. Meanwhile, the fellas discuss the 80-20 rule. This is where you do the same thing but no paper is involved. You determine whether the 80% quality she brings to your life outweighs the 20% that's lacking.

Ice begins to melt and you begin to see. You see his passion for serving God and others. You remember her warm smile and gentle touch. You see his consistency in caring about and for you despite the problems. You remember how she had your back when no one else believed in you or supported your dreams. In the final analysis, we all want someone who won't leave us when life happens.

Summer gives way to Fall. Winter gives way to Spring. Through it all, will you walk with me?