The Second Crusade of the Holy Cheese

Far and wide the word spread out, far and wide it went. From city to country and underground sewage the call went out to all. "Call to arms! Call to arms!" orange liveried rats of the Holy Church of Cheese called out. "The Second Crusade of the Holy Cheese is underway!"

Why? A brown furred red--necked rat from the country called out.

Why? A white coated genteelrat from the city asked.

Why? A polka dotted Lady rattess from the House of Orange asked.

The answer came back, and all who heard it spread the word.

The Holy Cheese Factory has been rebuilt! And it's operations have been expanded five times over! Hallelujah! Beneath the sewers of a great city they gathered, ratty citizens representing every corner of the lands of Ratty Cheesedom!

A fat rat in priestly raiment appeared before the ratty multitudes. Blessings be upon you my children he blessed them.

And to you, your Cheesiness! The ratty masses replied back with a roar.

You, the priestly representative of Holy Cheesedom continued, will embark upon a pilgrimage that comes but once in a rats life! The chance to follow the steps of our ancestors to the Holy Land of Cheese! And there you shall have an ALL YOU CAN EAT CHEESE BUFFET! FORWARD! He cried out as all decorum for his holy station was dropped. FORWARD TO THE HOLY CHEESE!

The earth shook and the air rumbled as the land erupted with rats of all manner. Big rats fat rats little ones too, one and all they came to the Holy Land of Cheese. This is it! The Holy Cheese!

Before the steel gates of the Factory, sharp silence cut through the sounds of ratty merriment that filled the air. A grim sense of questioning took its place. What, the rearmost rats from that mass asked, what is happening? What happened to the merry sounds and revelry?

The grim word came back from the front, and it spread to every rat in that great host. Shivers ran down as all heard the word. The gates have been mined with traps of every kind. Traps, they whispered with shudders, aimed at Rats! Oh the horror! So close, the rats moaned, and yet so far away.

They sniffled, and they cried, and to the heavens they beseeched the Great Lord of Cheese; but no sign of salvation came. At the forefront of this great host, the fat ratty priest looked up to the heavens, and with a paw raised at the formidable gates, cried out to the world at large. WHY CRUEL WORLD!? WHY!?

No answer came back, and with it hope was lost, foundered upon the shores of fate. Except that the sign before gates read BEGONE YOU RATTY HEATHENS! BEGONE! And with head bowed down and heavy hearts, the rats dispersed far and wide, near and narrow.

Finally, there was but one more rat before the gates, one that was braver than all the rest. With courage in his heart and head held high, he took a step before the gates that was so soft it barely whispered. He took another step, and nothing happened. Maybe, he thought as encouragement filled the tip of his pointy ears to the tip of his strong princely tail, maybe the traps were duds! He took another step and-SNAP!

AIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! He screeched. His pride and joy, his princely tail so thick and fine, had been caught in the hideous maws of a trap!

With bent tail and drooping ears, the courageous-well, not so courageous now-rat ran for his life.

And thus ended the Second Crusade of the Holy Cheese...Rats: One. The Manager of the Cheese Factory: One.

Until next time...