The Secret Doctrine of the Church (Pardon Me, Cult) of Scientology

To date, I have written twenty-three articles relating to Scientology, which has been described by some as the most dangerous cult in the world today, yet it occurs to me that I have not directly addressed the most obvious question: what do Scientologists believe? I'm sure at least some of you (who happen to watch South Park) think you already know what's coming, and you're right except that there's a bit more to it than spaceships and alien ghosts.

In Scientology, there is a ladder of sorts called "The Bridge to Total Freedom" which one can climb by taking expensive courses. The Bridge is split up into two parts: Dianetics and the OT (operating thetan) levels. In Dianetics, one is taught that they have a subconcious "reactive mind" which absorbs painful experiences and anything said or seen during those experiences. This affects your behavior, your mental state, and your physical well-being.

The goal of Dianetics is to reach the state of "clear." When a person becomes clear, all engrams (a word made up by L. Ron Hubbard to describe the aforementioned negative "memories") have been removed from one's mind. A clear is expected to have a perfect memory, an extroardinary I.Q. level, and physically invulnerable as far as health is concerned. In order to reach the state of clear, one must undergo a form of brainwashing (pardon me, "spiritual councilling") called auditing. In auditing, which some have described as a form of hypnosis, the subject is asked to answer questions about their life. The answers of these sometimes probing interviews are written down and can be as blackmail if the subject should ever express a desire to leave Scientology.

Having reached the state of clear, a Scientologist will go to a Scientology org (short for organization and meaning a building where auditors and Scientology officials work) in Clearwater, Florida or Las Angeles, California or some other such city since the average Scientology org can't give someone the necesarry courses to move up the OT levels. The word thetan was coined by L. Ron Hubbard as the Scientology word for "spirit" or "soul" and according to Hubbard, an operating thetan has almost god-like powers.

At the levknown as OT III, a scientologist learns the ultimate secret of life on Earth. Let's see how much of this you're already familiar with. Seventy-five million years ago, Earth was known as Teegeeack and it was part of the Galactic Confederation. The Galactic Confederation was ruled over by Lord Xenu, who had been appointed by the Loyal Officers.

Lord Xenu had a problem, however, on average his planets had 178 billion aliens each. In order to deal with such a massive overpopulation problem, Xenu had many of his subjects gathered together--one of the ways of doing such was to call them in for tax inspection--and killed. As they were killed, the aliens were covered with a mix of alcohol and glycol which trapped their thetans inside the dead bodies. The aliens were then frozen, packed into little boxes, and flown to Earth in spaceships that looked exactly like DC8s except that they had rocket engines.

Once on Earth, the aliens were laid at the bases of volcanoes which then had H-bombs dropped on them. However, because Xenu didn't want the alien souls to come back to their planets and reincarnated--which cause the overpopulation problem to pop right back up--he created a giant electronic ribbon in the sky which trapped the thetans. Then, the aliens were brought to a theatre where thet watched motion pictures for thirty-six days that brainwashed them into believing in a false reality and in God and Satan.

Today, we are covered with these thetans who cluster together because, having watched the same brainwashing materials, they think they are all the same entity. These thetans, known as body thetans, inhibit the abilities and capacities of our souls, causing us to be depressed, diseased, and mortal. The only way to rid ourselves of our body thetans is to telepathically tell them to--in the words of Gollum--"go away."

As for Xenu, he was overthrown by the Loyal Officers and locked away in a little cave, which he is kept in with a forcefield powered by an eternal battery. He is still alive today. The Loyal Officers are also still around except that instead of still being aliens, they have all been reincarnated as the Sea Org, Scientology's private army, which is "the only organization dedicated to the clearing of planet Earth" which was Hubbard's way of saying world domination. Thus, the motto of the Sea Org is "we come back" in reference to their failure to stop Xenu originally and their determination to redeem themselves through the spread of Scientology.

According to CNN report, only ten percent of Scientologists have reached OT III. This is a statistic I have never heard elsewhere but based on the fact that this was CNN, I'm going to give them the benefit of the doubt. The claim is not really too far-fetched considering that one ex-Scientologist once told me reaching
OT III could cost up to one million dollars.

For further information, I would recommend this Youtube video concerning Hubbard's teachings on Jesus Christhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oeosYvdUuxQ , googling "the eight dynamic", or simply visiting this wikileaks page http://wikileaks.org/wiki/Category:Scientology