The SECRET Lives of Spouses

It always amazes me the naiveness of most people. This unfortunately at one time also included me. We all would like to think just because we love someone, and they love us, they are being just as honest with us, as we are with them. This is not always the case. Now of course there are some honest husbands and wives out there, but you would be surprised at how many aren't. I have heard too many stories to count. I myself have been through it several times. Does it make the unaware spouse stupid? No, of course not, most people who are fooled, aren't fools, they are just loving, trusting people, who truly believe in their spouse. So, what kinds of things are going on that spouses don't know about? Let's take a look at some of the secrets spouses don't talk about!

Probably the number one secret nowadays has to be pornography addiction. Always remember this type of addiction is just as serious and harmful to a spouse, and family as any other. Somehow we seem to almost accept a porn addiction as boys will be boys, or everyone does it. On the contrary it can do devastating harm to not only the person addicted, but anyone involved with him or her. Often times spouses aren't even aware what's going on because it's done in secret. A porn addict may not hit the Internet porn until their spouse has been long gone into slumber. Believe me, they know how to erase all the incriminating evidence. NO more magazines to find hidden in the old toolbox, or sewing basket. Yes, unfortunately, the Internet makes it oh so easy for someone to become addicted without even a suspicion from their spouse.

Another common occurrence which seems to be on the rise is office affairs. Oh, let's call it what it really is, Cheating! With both so many men and now women in the workplace it's easier for people to so call "Hook Up". Lord, I hate that expression. Unfortunately, let's call a spade a spade. Back in the old days most of the workforce was men, so unless you were gay, there wasn't as much opportunity to cheat. Yes, there's nothing like progress to make things worse. Now, don't get me wrong I'm not saying women shouldn't;don't work, I'm only pointing out that because more women do, there are more opportunities for both sexes to cheat on their spouses. A lot of jobs nowadays include traveling, extensive meetings, business lunches etc, Well where there is opportunity, there's a way. I wouldn't even want to know the real statistics on how many spouses cheat at work, after all how many people are going to admit it?

Another well hidden addiction well at least for awhile is compulsive gambling. The poor spouses, and I do mean poor, that don't find out until it's too late. Their loving spouse is spending their lunch time, or any other spare time they get gambling away the kid's college fund, the vacation money. money that supposed to be used to pay the bills, retirement funds, and the list goes on an on. You may wonder how the spouse couldn't know about the money being spent. Well, it is a lot easier in marriages where one spouse handles all the finances and the other has no clue. Traditionally, you may think this would be a man keeping the money situation from the wife, but this isn't always true. Some men just bring their paycheck home, and leave the rest to their wives. This is a horrible addiction as it Can totally destroy a family not only emotionally, but financially.

Last but not least is the closet drinker. You would think that any person would know if their spouse is an alcoholic. Yes, that's true when it's done in the open for everyone to see. However;, there are people that do it private, and the spouse has no idea. Hard to believe, but true. Just remember, how busy most families are nowadays. It's not as hard to hide as you think. Remember the movie "When A Man Loves A Woman", with Meg Ryan and Andy Garcia? Although he knew his wife drank a little bit too much now and again, he had NO idea of the extent of her drinking, and the things she did while she was drunk. How long it stays a secret all depends on the two people involved.

There's an old saying that I truly have no idea who said it, but it goes like this "Your only as sick as your secret". I would definitely, and wholeheartedly go along with that one. Secrets unfortunately have a way of always coming out eventually. However, until the secret does come out, it works it dark little way into the lives of unsuspecting spouses, slowly eating away at the love, trust and respect, that we truly believe exists between ourselves and the one we love!