The Secret Reasons to Breast-feed

We all know that breastmilk is superior to formula in nutrition and health for both Mama and Baby. But there are other benefits (mostly to you) that you will only learn over time. These are the things experienced mamas know about, but that it's slightly less than PC to list to expectant mothers.

Breast-feeding keeps the Boobie Fairy's blessings. Remember how blessed Debra Messing was in the last season of Will & Grace, compared to the beginning of the series? That was the result of breast-feeding. The cleavage sticks around as long as you stick to it. You might be a little awkward with your three new blessigns in the beginning, but you'll eventually grow to appreciate them (and so will your husband).

You can get out of a lot of diaper changes. When my third daughter was quite young, my husband and I made the following deal: I'd take care of the input, he'd take care of the output. It's a good trade-off for 3am feedings, and I don't have to deal with the stinkies.

Breastfed poops don't smell as bad. Admittedly, they don't smell good, and this is a benefit that pretty much evaporates once solids are started, but it's a bennie you won't overlook if you've ever changed a formula fed baby's poopy butt. Breastfed poops smell like nothing so much as sour milk.

Breast-feeding can get you out of a lot of things you don't want to do. Family Readiness Group wants you to come over and make decorations for the unit's homecoming? So sorry, but your baby won't take a bottle. Mother-in-law want you to spend the day with her, a girls' time out? Whip out that "no bottles" card. This will also get you out of most bad action films, field trip chaperonages, and bake sale duty. In fact, it's a handy excuse to get you out of pretty much anything that annoys you.

You don't have to let anyone else hold the baby or feed her. I've heard lots of stories of mothers-in-law or other less-than-adored family members demanding to hold/feed/babysit the newborn. Her need to be near her food source trumps anything they have to offer.

Breastmilk is a built-in weapon. I've only had to squirt my husband once to get him to do what I wanted. Now I can merely threaten.

You can go ahead and have that cake. No, breast-feeding doesn't work as a diet for everyone. But the extra five hundred or so calories a day you need to nurse is a handy excuse for not sharing your apple chimicheesecake at Applebee's. You have to keep up that milk production!

Breastmilk is a natural tranquilizer. It is physically impossible for a baby to cry and nurse at the same time. Ninety-nine point nine percent of the time, Baby will choose the nipple. Which makes breastfeeding an excellent quieter. The bonus? It will also put your baby to sleep about half the time. In fact, it's the surest way to get the baby out like a light at nap- and bedtimes.

Two words: lactational amenorrhea. Yeah, this one's not exactly a secret. Breastfeeding usually postpones the return of menstruation. But let's think about this for a minute. What, exactly, does it mean? Obviously, it means no bleeding. But it also means that you can spend your tampon/Pamprin budget on something else. It's a vacation from cramps and bloating and granny panties.

It helps you sleep too. Picture this: you, feeding your newborn while both of you are still mostly asleep. This is the nirvana of breastfeeding when paired with co-sleeping. Even if you don't co-sleep, the convenience-food nature of breastmilk (it's always the right temperature, thickness, etc) means less time awake in the middle of the night for you. Plus, you still get to lord the "I handled the feedings all night long" thing over your husband the next morning. And that tranquilizer effect works both ways.

These are just a few of nursing's fringe benefits. As you nurse, you'll learn others.