The Sexism of Chivalry: Feminists Tired of Special Treatment
However, such a notion only perpetuates the idea that men must be the providers, and women the dependents. Another "chivalrous" practice is holding doors for ladies, and pulling their chairs in and out for them. This practice dates back to a time when women were considered the frail, weaker sex, and it was up to men to do strenuous tasks for women, because it was believed that women should not be expected to do such things. Again, this practice was based on the notion that women should be dependent on men.
In the early 21st Century, we all know women aren't weak, and we know that many women hold jobs and can easily pay for movie tickets. Why do we continue to insist men keep doing these things? We say it's the polite thing to do, but how polite is it to treat a woman like a child? It's also degrading when men feel as though they can't swear or make inappropriate jokes around women. It's not a question of whether women want to hear certain things, but why men have to censor themselves around women as though children were present. Why are women and children always given the same protection, as though they're one in the same?
Sometimes men complain they're not allowed to hit women. They say it's sexist. Women can hit them, but they can't hit back. Well, they're right, it is a bit sexist to tell men they can't hit women. So how's this: no one should hit anyone, regardless of gender. Men can't hit women, women can't hit men, no one can hit anyone, unless of course it's in self-defense. While we're on the topic of violence, men also complain it's not fair that women can't be drafted.
Who's to say they can't? Who's to say that if there was a draft in the future, women would not be included? Sure, plenty of women don't want to be drafted, but the ones that don't usually oppose the idea of a draft in general. In the case of violence, women should not be the only ones protected, everyone should be given the same protection.
Being polite is one thing. It's okay to be polite to everyone, and treat women with the same level of respect as men. But this isn't always the case. Some men refuse to let women hold doors for them. I can't tell you how many times I've tried to hold a door for a man, and all he did was stand there and insist on holding it for me, letting me through first. I had a boyfriend who wouldn't dream of letting me pay for dinner, or buy his ticket. I for one find it very rude when men insist on treating me differently just because I'm a woman, regardless of what the treatment is.
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I am currently a student at Northeastern University. I love to write, as well as a few other things. I'm a political science major and hope to run for office someday, but if that doesn't work I have been tol... View profile
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30 Comments
Post a Comment"Who's to say that if there was a draft in the future, women would not be included?"
Did you sign up and put your name on the list when you turned 18? If your name isn't on the list, you can't be drafted.
Men don't just get drafted, they're required by law to put their name on the list, from which drafts are made.
I have no problem with treating feminists like men and offering chivalry to ladies. I like that true feminists don't expect to have it both ways.
That works out well. Feminists get their equality and non-feminist ladies get their chivalry.
Menshoulddostuffforwomenbecauseitsrespectful.Ifamandidntholdthedooropenforyou,youdprobablythinkJerk.IfhedidholditopenyoudprobablysayIvegothandsofmyownyoupig.Mencanneverwin.AndIamawomansayingthis.Iagreeweshouldntdependonthemforeverything,butiftheywanttopickupthecheck,bemyguest!Bethankfulamanwantstorespectyou!Youcanbedependent,butnottothepointwhereitssnooty.
So, say you have a dominant person and a submissive person doing sexual things. Who is really the dominant one? Who is being served? It's all in how you view it. Women could easily view this as men serving them, and therefore they are the dominant ones; not saying they should view it that way.
I am not saying that all men who open doors and pull out chairs, or pay for things have some hidden agenda. But so what if they did? Wouldn't that simply be highlighting their insecurity concerning not being in control, and therefore make them the weaker, more vulnerable one?
If I feel a man is trying to control me via paying for things, etc., I just let him play into it. Money doesn't control me, and why waste your time trying to prove yourself to someone like this? Use it for what it's worth, then go on your way.
I also just wanted to add that I don't view all men who do nice things in this light. I can sense when a guy is trying to get control or not, which if
Get back in the kitchen, you dumb bitch. Men are talking.
"Chivalry is respect. [...] I will tell them to go to the nearest doctor to get checkup on a neurological disorder."
David, I hope that irony is intentional.
Chivalry is terribly misunderstood, even by those who claim to practice it. I wrote an article in an attempt to clear things up.
http://cavalierdreamz.blogspot.com/2010/10/six-myths-about-chivalry.html
Chivalry is respect. The next time some looney pro-abort gets defensive from me holding a door, I will tell them to go to the nearest doctor to get checkup on a neurological disorder.
This article makes me sad.
I hold the door for women for two reasons. 1) Because MOST women appreciate it. And 2) Because it makes delusional feminists angry.
Hey everyone, please consider this post. Men and women deserve the same kind of respect from each other.
If you are a feminist, then you believe that a woman can be expected to accomplish anything a man can and should be treated equally in that light.
To Hera: Is it fair that the social expectation for men to work harder to consistently do things for women has been deemed necessary for them to show respect?
In an egalitarian society, women should be just as active in their attempts to show respect to men. Unfortunately, while men have traditionally expressed respect through "chivalry", women have expressed respect by never questioning decisions that men make and never attempting to work as equals to men.
Is that really feminism, or respect for that manner?