The Simple Guide to Instant Collegiate Failure

Do you ever wonder why some students in college seem to master the art of flunking? Do you ever find yourself pondering the thought of doing the same, or maybe just curious to see how easy it truly might be? Well, here is some news for you! Flunking out of college is as easy as baking a cake, (if you find baking cakes are easy). All you have to do is follow these easy how-to instructions and you will be right on your way to a becoming a college drop-out.

First and foremost you must learn how to procrastinate. Procrastination is the key in flunking out of college. In order to do so you must take every assignment, every paper, including all the studying you do and put it aside until the night before each one is due. In fact, if you really want to be daring you can set it aside until the morning of. This will ensure that you do not focus or take the time needed to get a good grade on those assignments. Remember good grades mean more time in college, and more time in college means you haven't flunked out yet. So while you are procrastinating, make sure you clear your desk of any studious material such as books, paper, pens and calculators. Also don't sit in your room without any distractions while this may lead to boredom and boredom sometimes leads to starting your homework. Make sure you have the television on or make yourself busy by browsing Facebook for the latest on parties and nightlife. This also leads us to the next step in successfully flunking out of college.

Partying is another fundamental step in becoming a college failure story. Along with dedicated procrastination, partying can lead you half way into the flunking process. First, as mentioned before, browse Facebook and other online applications for local get togethers, parties and nightclubs. These resources can be extremely useful when trying to find ways to get your mind off studying, and instead get your mind into full blown party mode. When you find suitable parties that meet your tastes, don't just pick one to go to, choose all of them. In fact leave extra early that night so you can do so. Also make sure that these parties have plenty of alcohol to go around. You want to be sure that the next morning you wake up with a massive hangover so that when you go to class (if you go to class) you can be positive that there will be absolutely no potential for learning. Another tip to keep in mind while partying is; don't just party once a week, party every single day. When a student parties every day instead of just on the weekends, their body will go into overdrive. All the partying will tire them out fully and ensure that there is no energy to do anything else, especially study. This makes it even easier to follow through when procrastinating. Remember, the two P's (partying and procrastination) go together. Without one there is room for success, and that is exactly what you want to avoid.

Perhaps the step that will ensure full failure is cutting out class all together. At first we recommend that you take it slow, and gradually start to flunk. But as you start to reach the critical stage where you have used the two P's to their full advantage then it is time you skip class and forget about anything academic altogether. This is the last and most important step in flunking out of college. Without this step there is still possibility for revival and academic intervention.

By following these easy steps you are almost ensured to flunk out of college. However, you will always want to start with the two P's before you jump into forgetting about class altogether. While it may seem tempting to do so, think again. Going cold turkey can be daunting and it almost always leads to a relapse. After a while you may be curious to see what going to class is actually like and that is just taking a step backwards. Remember, flunking out of college can be easy. Just follow through, party hard and procrastinate too. Happy flunking!